Tuesday, November 30, 2010

A Swing and a Miss

Strike one.

Folks here at work were talking about how awesome Amish furniture is so the first thought that popped into my warped little mind is " I bet the Amish website really sucks". So I made a sad little attempt at humor and was IMMEDIATELY called on it. (never have I gotten comments faster!)  Of course the Amish don't have websites but OF COURSE their distributors and retailers do. Duh.

Strike two.

Our shitty cable provider, Comcast, has taken six steps back, we have reverted to the 80's and we have to have cable boxes again. (Remember those?)  There are three TV's in the house and only one box worked right. So I spent HOURS on the phone with someone from India trying to make the the other two work. And when I say trying to make them work that means we spent a few hours unplugging the box and plugging it back in, basically rebooting it. I was very patient that day.

She finally gave up and sent a technician. Well by 'sent' I mean 10 days later a guy showed up 3 hours after the appointed time and fixed the other two cable boxes. I was patient then too. I made sure they both worked before he left.

After he left I noticed that the one box that worked before was not getting all the channels it should now. Grrrrrr. So I called up Comcast and the lady in India told me to unplug the cable box. My patients were now officially all used up. I said NO! I have spent hours rebooting these boxes and it has never worked and I don't intend to waste another night of my life rebooting boxes because it's not going to work now, I am not following your script anymore, give me something intelligent to do and I will gladly do it but no more unplugging boxes for NOTHING!

Oh yes, it was a rant! My voice coach would have been so proud! I was projecting from the diaphragm! Yes, it was a good old fashioned LOUD "NO MORE" rant.

I felt so much better. Then I felt childish so I relented and rebooted the stupid box.

As I had heard dozens of times already. "Now it should take 45 minutes to reload. If after 45 minutes you still have problems give us call us back."

Yeah, thanks, I have this fricken script memorized. Been there done that have a couple of boxes of T shirts from all the visits, thanks.

So, yeah, of course it worked this time! I made an ass of my self, the girl in India now wants to blow up plane loads of American jerk wads and the cable box works just fine.


Hmmm, maybe I could lie to my self to make me feel better?

You know, I bet the rant fixed it!

No, no, no, that makes no logical sense, more likely, they just been screwing with me for the last two weeks and when I went off on the tear the little girl knew she had really better actually fix it this time. Yeah, that's it. I finally make her do her job. Yes!

Ah, self delusion is soooooo important!


jinksto said...

LOL, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to crush your one chance at a feel good moment. Feel free to hop over to my blog and mock me.

*cough* Your joke WAS funny though... before the inner geek kicked in and I HAD to find the answer. You know how it is. At least I didn't post the link as http://tinyurl.com/2dlzwzb :)

For the Indian chick you didn't use Shiboleet did you?


Cheeseboy said...

Comcast? Comcast?! That is a swear word in our house. I HATE those guys. Shit-e is right.

Great stuff.

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

@ Jinksto- OMG! I thought I had all the XKCD memorized!
The "Shiboleet" strip is AWESOME! I literally LOL'd (at work) when I read the reference to the "stuffed Penguin!! (as a devoted Linux snob I had TOO!)

Since I was the buffoon in this case I am glad I did not waste a good "Shiboleet" for nothing! :)

Oh, thanks for the pity *cough* lol!

@Cheeseboy - Comcast has now been officially entered my "dirty word lexicon"

Comcast me? No! Comcast YOU!