As we know "Celebrity Watch" is not my thing here so I'll keep this very short and to the point...
For a week now I have been hearing "I Will Always Love You". GAH! NO mos por favor, no mos! Uh HELLO "Journalists", Whitney actually did more than one song and in my opinion that is not her best. In fact it makes me think of Tarzan! AhhhhhAHHHHHahhhhAHHHHH. Where Cheetah Jane?
On the other hand I simply can not listen to "I wanna dance with Somebody" and NOT start moving.
Shut up about Bobby Brown already. Whitney can kill herself alllll by herself like a BIG girl!
'Nuff said
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Friday, May 27, 2011
Nerdy Movies that Transend Nerdom
Since it is a holiday weekend you might have some downtime so here are some ideas!
I have tried to make a list of really good nerd movies that no one has seen. If you have not seen the following movies you really really should. Yes, they are nerd movies on the surface so most 'danes blow them off and miss a really good show for it. However, they are soooo good you will be glad you did see them!
Bicentennial Man. - Based on an Issac Asimov story. Asimov is considered one of the three grand deans of Science Fiction.
This is one of the best sci-fi movies ever made though there is very little "sci-fi" in it. Only something on the order of 12 people have ever seen it! Nine of them I held at gunpoint and forced them to watch until they were hooked on their own! (Average time required to put down fire arm; 12-18 minutes ;) )
Robert Heinlein (another of the three grand deans) said that good Sci-fi is always about the people, the characters. Oh certainly people who are impacted in some way by the technology in their life but it's still about the people. This movie totally NAILS that concept. Even if some of them are not even technically people! :)
After you see this movie you WILL thank me for it. Ignore the rest of this post if you like, you MUST see this movie! Don't make me get my gun! :)
Please come back and comment after you see it. I really want to know what you thought.
October Sky - The true story of how the launch of Sputnik affected the lives of a group of high school kids in a poor mining town. It is one of the best movies you have never seen. Laura Dern's character is truly special and it may be the only Jake Gyllenhaal movie made where he does not make you feel vaguely uncomfortable. :)
I.Q. - Meg Ryan, Tim Robbins, Walter Mathou. That really should be enough for you to want to see it. BUT OH MAH DEAR GAWD! MEG RYAN AS A HUUUUUGE MATH NERD. Oh my heart! I could actually feel it melting and running down into my legs. Well maybe that was the popcorn butter but STILL! Wow!
Then other than his incredible good looks and the fact that I was an aircraft mechanic instead of auto, Tim Robbins character was written after me. Yup! (even if the writers did not know it!)
Real Genius - A very young Val Kilmer (Pre- Top Gun) stars in this flick about child geniuses in college. Not a serious flick by any means but it's a lot of good goofy nerdy fun. If you knew any nerds in college the "life in the dorms" parts of the film are pretty damned funny!
Nerd Guy - "I can't pee while your watching me"
Nerd Gal - "That's weird. Why not"
It's a solid 9 on the nerd-o-meter!
Galaxy Quest Hmmmmm, I debate; I'm not sure if its obscure enough for this list. Among nerdom it is well known (unlike the most of the others listed here) but I am not sure how well known outside of nerddom! Either way, you can't go wrong in seeing it. Alan Rickman finally shook off the Klaus typecasting in this film freeing him up for "Marvin" (next review) and ultimately Snape.
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - Ah, originally written by one of the writers for "Monty Python's Flying Circus" (Douglas Admas) This is the first comedy sci-fi I know of. And its pretty darned good comedy too...
"I decided long ago I would rather be happy than rich."
"So, are you happy?"
"Well...Now, that is where the plan falls down now isn't it?"
Alan Rickman as the voice of Marvin the depressed robot is pure art!
"Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to take you to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction, 'cause I don't."
Marvin: I've been talking to the ship's computer.
Arthur: And?
Marvin: (Dripping with venom) It hates me.
Ok, to finish this lame post up - invest a measly 3 minutes of your life in this old animated song. The graphics were high tech at one time! I adore the campiness though and parts of the tune have just a bit of the old brain worm effect going. This may be the only rap song I have ever liked (even though the Yoda segment is the only really "rappy" part)
I know, you are hesitating now! Show some trust! You'll like it, I promise! It's only 3 minutes! what do you have to loose,
Darth Vader "Churning the butter!" Really? Does life get any better than that?
("Owwwww, why'd you slice off my hand?!")
Your welcome!
I have tried to make a list of really good nerd movies that no one has seen. If you have not seen the following movies you really really should. Yes, they are nerd movies on the surface so most 'danes blow them off and miss a really good show for it. However, they are soooo good you will be glad you did see them!
Bicentennial Man. - Based on an Issac Asimov story. Asimov is considered one of the three grand deans of Science Fiction.
This is one of the best sci-fi movies ever made though there is very little "sci-fi" in it. Only something on the order of 12 people have ever seen it! Nine of them I held at gunpoint and forced them to watch until they were hooked on their own! (Average time required to put down fire arm; 12-18 minutes ;) )
Robert Heinlein (another of the three grand deans) said that good Sci-fi is always about the people, the characters. Oh certainly people who are impacted in some way by the technology in their life but it's still about the people. This movie totally NAILS that concept. Even if some of them are not even technically people! :)
After you see this movie you WILL thank me for it. Ignore the rest of this post if you like, you MUST see this movie! Don't make me get my gun! :)
Please come back and comment after you see it. I really want to know what you thought.
October Sky - The true story of how the launch of Sputnik affected the lives of a group of high school kids in a poor mining town. It is one of the best movies you have never seen. Laura Dern's character is truly special and it may be the only Jake Gyllenhaal movie made where he does not make you feel vaguely uncomfortable. :)
I.Q. - Meg Ryan, Tim Robbins, Walter Mathou. That really should be enough for you to want to see it. BUT OH MAH DEAR GAWD! MEG RYAN AS A HUUUUUGE MATH NERD. Oh my heart! I could actually feel it melting and running down into my legs. Well maybe that was the popcorn butter but STILL! Wow!
Then other than his incredible good looks and the fact that I was an aircraft mechanic instead of auto, Tim Robbins character was written after me. Yup! (even if the writers did not know it!)
Real Genius - A very young Val Kilmer (Pre- Top Gun) stars in this flick about child geniuses in college. Not a serious flick by any means but it's a lot of good goofy nerdy fun. If you knew any nerds in college the "life in the dorms" parts of the film are pretty damned funny!
Nerd Guy - "I can't pee while your watching me"
Nerd Gal - "That's weird. Why not"
It's a solid 9 on the nerd-o-meter!
Galaxy Quest Hmmmmm, I debate; I'm not sure if its obscure enough for this list. Among nerdom it is well known (unlike the most of the others listed here) but I am not sure how well known outside of nerddom! Either way, you can't go wrong in seeing it. Alan Rickman finally shook off the Klaus typecasting in this film freeing him up for "Marvin" (next review) and ultimately Snape.
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - Ah, originally written by one of the writers for "Monty Python's Flying Circus" (Douglas Admas) This is the first comedy sci-fi I know of. And its pretty darned good comedy too...
"I decided long ago I would rather be happy than rich."
"So, are you happy?"
"Well...Now, that is where the plan falls down now isn't it?"
Alan Rickman as the voice of Marvin the depressed robot is pure art!
"Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to take you to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction, 'cause I don't."
Marvin: I've been talking to the ship's computer.
Arthur: And?
Marvin: (Dripping with venom) It hates me.
Ok, to finish this lame post up - invest a measly 3 minutes of your life in this old animated song. The graphics were high tech at one time! I adore the campiness though and parts of the tune have just a bit of the old brain worm effect going. This may be the only rap song I have ever liked (even though the Yoda segment is the only really "rappy" part)
I know, you are hesitating now! Show some trust! You'll like it, I promise! It's only 3 minutes! what do you have to loose,
Darth Vader "Churning the butter!" Really? Does life get any better than that?
("Owwwww, why'd you slice off my hand?!")
Your welcome!
Monday, January 10, 2011
How I hate Micheal Bay...
Seriously I don't know how this guy keeps getting work. Well I take that back, "Transformers" saved his career and yet the two transformers movies (so far) are pretty indicative of why he sucks so much.
You know movies/stories are supposed to manipulate your emotions to some degree but when done by a true artist you are never even aware you are being manipulated. Micheal Bay uses a sledgehammer and even puts a sign on the screen that says "Emotional manipulation technique 3A commencing NOW!" Then you are just setting there rolling your eyes going, "Really?"
In his film school efforts to manipulate our emotions he just WONT STOP! Action sequences are just waaay too long and just way too many things happen (that each last tool long). Eg In Armageddon it just went on and on and on and on and on; Space station blows up, (takes 20 minutes) shuttle crashes (takes 20 minutes to crash too!), burns up the drill, show down over the bomb, FOUND A NEW DRILL!. space dementia (eye roll!) and Steve Buscemi goes nuts with the chain gun (Uh, BTW, those were Mars rovers. Just what were they planning to shoot on MARS?) Then remote detonator wont work, Shuttle engine wont start, then Bruce Willis cant even pull the trigger without yet ANOTHER "action" sequence! By the time Bruce Willis killed himself I was like "YES! FINALLY! Dear god thank you!! It's over.. or is it?! .... YES it really is!" and you break down weeping for joy in the theater. This is pretty much true of every film he makes. By the time it is over you are sick to death of the movie.
Oh and what the hell is the deal with all the camera shaking? Is the fact that I can't see any thing supposed to make me think it is more "real" Gah. It started in the "The Rock" with the car chase between Nick Cage and Sean Connery. Then it went completely overboard (like anything Micheal bay) in "Pearl Harbor"
I read this story I read in a pilots magazine. When Bay made Pearl Harbor he went to the owners of many actual WWII aircraft and rented their very expensive museum pieces from them. (Not cheap) then he broke them down and shipped them to Hawaii and had them reassembled there. (Not cheap) Then he filmed many action sequences with the plane at Pearl Harbor. Then broke the planes back down, shipped them back and reassembled them.
So he spent a LOT of money to use authentic aircraft in his action sequences. So I read about this before the movie released and I was thinking, "This is gonna be cool!!"
Then he did the "shaking camera" thing to such an extreme you can hardly tell they are airplanes let alone be able to tell they are authentic. What kind of moron spends all that money and does all that work then does not let you SEE what he spent all that money to film? It's just boggling. (and if the shaking is that violent how could anybody operate the plane? GAH!)
On top of that - how can you possibly make a movie about Pearl harbor and make it BORING? He pulled it off.
So what set off this rant? He offended my nerdy sensibilities this weekend, They are running a trailer for Transformers III. Watch this trailer for it on YouTube. Pay attention to Walter Cronkite, They are now on the far side of the moon. Far side of the moon? Once you land on a given spot of the moon You can't move to the far side! The moon is tidally locked, it does not rotate in relation to the earth. Throughout all of human history we have ALWAYS looked up to he same side of the moon.
I mean this is not rocket science; Can we at least get the 4th grade stuff right? Wow.
So to cap it off- Apparently Sean Green feels about the same way towards Micheal bay as I do- Micheal Bay Parody (very short)
Thus concludes Rob's bizarre rant of the day!
You know movies/stories are supposed to manipulate your emotions to some degree but when done by a true artist you are never even aware you are being manipulated. Micheal Bay uses a sledgehammer and even puts a sign on the screen that says "Emotional manipulation technique 3A commencing NOW!" Then you are just setting there rolling your eyes going, "Really?"
In his film school efforts to manipulate our emotions he just WONT STOP! Action sequences are just waaay too long and just way too many things happen (that each last tool long). Eg In Armageddon it just went on and on and on and on and on; Space station blows up, (takes 20 minutes) shuttle crashes (takes 20 minutes to crash too!), burns up the drill, show down over the bomb, FOUND A NEW DRILL!. space dementia (eye roll!) and Steve Buscemi goes nuts with the chain gun (Uh, BTW, those were Mars rovers. Just what were they planning to shoot on MARS?) Then remote detonator wont work, Shuttle engine wont start, then Bruce Willis cant even pull the trigger without yet ANOTHER "action" sequence! By the time Bruce Willis killed himself I was like "YES! FINALLY! Dear god thank you!! It's over.. or is it?! .... YES it really is!" and you break down weeping for joy in the theater. This is pretty much true of every film he makes. By the time it is over you are sick to death of the movie.
Oh and what the hell is the deal with all the camera shaking? Is the fact that I can't see any thing supposed to make me think it is more "real" Gah. It started in the "The Rock" with the car chase between Nick Cage and Sean Connery. Then it went completely overboard (like anything Micheal bay) in "Pearl Harbor"
I read this story I read in a pilots magazine. When Bay made Pearl Harbor he went to the owners of many actual WWII aircraft and rented their very expensive museum pieces from them. (Not cheap) then he broke them down and shipped them to Hawaii and had them reassembled there. (Not cheap) Then he filmed many action sequences with the plane at Pearl Harbor. Then broke the planes back down, shipped them back and reassembled them.
So he spent a LOT of money to use authentic aircraft in his action sequences. So I read about this before the movie released and I was thinking, "This is gonna be cool!!"
Then he did the "shaking camera" thing to such an extreme you can hardly tell they are airplanes let alone be able to tell they are authentic. What kind of moron spends all that money and does all that work then does not let you SEE what he spent all that money to film? It's just boggling. (and if the shaking is that violent how could anybody operate the plane? GAH!)
On top of that - how can you possibly make a movie about Pearl harbor and make it BORING? He pulled it off.
So what set off this rant? He offended my nerdy sensibilities this weekend, They are running a trailer for Transformers III. Watch this trailer for it on YouTube. Pay attention to Walter Cronkite, They are now on the far side of the moon. Far side of the moon? Once you land on a given spot of the moon You can't move to the far side! The moon is tidally locked, it does not rotate in relation to the earth. Throughout all of human history we have ALWAYS looked up to he same side of the moon.
I mean this is not rocket science; Can we at least get the 4th grade stuff right? Wow.
So to cap it off- Apparently Sean Green feels about the same way towards Micheal bay as I do- Micheal Bay Parody (very short)
Thus concludes Rob's bizarre rant of the day!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Ear rat a
Disney thinks the Guardians are Owls. Ha! Check out these trained guard cats...
Erika is setting there Shelling a bunch of pecans she bought at farmers Market(?)
Note how the guardians have positioned themselves on each flank? That whole licking their paws thing is a non verbal warning to any chipmunk or squirrel eyeing Erika's pecans that "this will be YOUR blood I will be cleaning from my jowls if you come too close"
Then after reading my Star Wars post Erika gave me a Guardian....
My laptop and tea have never been safer! :)
Jump tracks...
I saw "V For Vendetta" in the theater when it was a new release. I walked out of the theater with an "eh" attitude. I did not dislike like it but it did very little for me. Then I a couple of weeks ago I was surfing the boob toob and NOTHING else was on so watched the last half hour or so of it on TV. I was thinking, "This is better than I remember."
Then just by coincidence Erika caught it on the DVR since she had never seen it. The next day I was dying to watch it with her but she was too busy cleaning her pecans. :)
So I watched it alone front to back with no commercials. (DVR's ROCK!) A beautiful movie visually and intellectually (in spite of some cartoon violence). Smart, funny and very deep. It's a love story to boot; the beautiful young woman falls in love with the horribly disfigured burn victim. It's chock full of wonderful philosophical quotes to boot such as "We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught, he can be killed and forgotten, but 400 years later, an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed first hand the power of ideas, I've seen people kill in the name of them, and die defending them... but you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it, or hold it... ideas do not bleed, they do not feel pain, they do not love, they do not die"
Mmmmmm. that is good writing.
Another quote is from the "autobiographical" note of a woman dieing in a concentration camp that she scratched out on toilet paper and hid in the rat hole of her cell that really moved me...
"...It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must NEVER let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you.
-Valerie. "
Wow. Bea-ut-i-ful. Yup, I'm a big sap and hey, I grow more comfortable with that everyday. :) (this is also the scene I caught while surfing that made me want to see the whole movie again)
Now recently Tammy accused me of not being "romantic" ;)
Here is a great quote as V is dying in Evey's arms...
V: ...For 20 years, I sought only this day. (vengeance!!) Nothing else existed... until I saw you. Then everything changed. I fell in love with you Evey. And to think I no longer believed I could.
Evey: But I don't want you to die.
V: That's the most beautiful thing you could have ever given me.
(dies)
Bravo! Good stuff! Who is NOT a romantic?! :)
There are a dozen other excellent quotes and dialog like this in the movie and then the closing scene is very powerful but this is getting to long.
So, back to original track...
I really wanted to watch this with Erika when she recorded it the weekend before last but we watched it together last night. I am not sure, but I don't think the movie did a thing for her. Just like it did nothing for me the first time I saw it.
Erika is setting there Shelling a bunch of pecans she bought at farmers Market(?)
Note how the guardians have positioned themselves on each flank? That whole licking their paws thing is a non verbal warning to any chipmunk or squirrel eyeing Erika's pecans that "this will be YOUR blood I will be cleaning from my jowls if you come too close"
Then after reading my Star Wars post Erika gave me a Guardian....
My laptop and tea have never been safer! :)
Jump tracks...
I saw "V For Vendetta" in the theater when it was a new release. I walked out of the theater with an "eh" attitude. I did not dislike like it but it did very little for me. Then I a couple of weeks ago I was surfing the boob toob and NOTHING else was on so watched the last half hour or so of it on TV. I was thinking, "This is better than I remember."
Then just by coincidence Erika caught it on the DVR since she had never seen it. The next day I was dying to watch it with her but she was too busy cleaning her pecans. :)
So I watched it alone front to back with no commercials. (DVR's ROCK!) A beautiful movie visually and intellectually (in spite of some cartoon violence). Smart, funny and very deep. It's a love story to boot; the beautiful young woman falls in love with the horribly disfigured burn victim. It's chock full of wonderful philosophical quotes to boot such as "We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught, he can be killed and forgotten, but 400 years later, an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed first hand the power of ideas, I've seen people kill in the name of them, and die defending them... but you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it, or hold it... ideas do not bleed, they do not feel pain, they do not love, they do not die"
Mmmmmm. that is good writing.
Another quote is from the "autobiographical" note of a woman dieing in a concentration camp that she scratched out on toilet paper and hid in the rat hole of her cell that really moved me...
"...It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must NEVER let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you.
-Valerie. "
Wow. Bea-ut-i-ful. Yup, I'm a big sap and hey, I grow more comfortable with that everyday. :) (this is also the scene I caught while surfing that made me want to see the whole movie again)
Now recently Tammy accused me of not being "romantic" ;)
Here is a great quote as V is dying in Evey's arms...
V: ...For 20 years, I sought only this day. (vengeance!!) Nothing else existed... until I saw you. Then everything changed. I fell in love with you Evey. And to think I no longer believed I could.
Evey: But I don't want you to die.
V: That's the most beautiful thing you could have ever given me.
(dies)
Bravo! Good stuff! Who is NOT a romantic?! :)
There are a dozen other excellent quotes and dialog like this in the movie and then the closing scene is very powerful but this is getting to long.
So, back to original track...
I really wanted to watch this with Erika when she recorded it the weekend before last but we watched it together last night. I am not sure, but I don't think the movie did a thing for her. Just like it did nothing for me the first time I saw it.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Perspective
How things change depending on the view point!
When I was oh so young I was already hooked on science fiction thanks to the master story teller Robert A. Heinlien. Then along comes this crazy movie called Star Wars. It was about a farm boy who wanted more than anything to be a fighter pilot.
As far as I was concerned the movie was about me. I never understood how Lucas had me to a "T" when as far as I new we had never met yet he made a movie about me. :)
Needless to say my love affair was deep! I read the book 27 times (I put a mark on the back fly page each time I finished it.) When the movie FINALLY got to a smaller theater near me I literally spent the whole Saturday there. I hid in the bathroom between each showing and watched it 4, 5 (???) times back to back. It was the greatest thing EVER.
Then I met each addition to the Star Wars legacy with great excitement.
25 years later my perspective seems to have shifted. Recently I saw all 6 movies back to back. This is something no fan should ever do I guess. As I OD'd on Star Wars I began to notice things that my love blinders had previously filtered out. I have compiled a list of all the annoying sometimes nonsensical things I noticed (and can still remember!) as I watched all the movies back to back. Its a list that makes me sad. It's like realizing your life long best friend steals from orphans for a living or something. :(
NOTE: Phantom Menace = first movie here and the Original "Star Wars" is the 4th movie
1. It hurts but it must be said! Luke was a whinny little bitch. (My hero! NooooOOOoooOOo!)
2. As was his father before he got evil.
3. As is the stupid golden robot, C3PO!
4. Speaking of which- I want to meet the shitty programmer who created a protocol droid that was soooooo annoying! How is a machine that pisses off everything around it going to be an effective diplomat!?
In that mighty future could they not just download a better personality for the whiney bitch robot?
5. How is that C3PO, being so damned annoying was not killed several times over? I would have killed it pretty quick myself!
6. Then to top it off why in the hell would anyone reassemble the sumbish after he was blown apart!? I mean a party celebrating not having to listen to him would have been more in order than rebuilding him. I mean seriously!?
7. The Empire might not have fallen had they had at least ONE competent storm trooper in the last three movies. I mean in those last three movies storm troopers fired thousands of shots and they had one and ONLY one hit when they blew C3PO apart. In fact, in cloud city Chewbacca is running down a hall with an annoying droid strapped to his back and the storm trooper is behind him and MISSED! WTF! How can you miss an 8 foot wookie IN A HALLWAY when you are shooting him in the back!? GAAAH!
8. Ok you are a bounty hunter. You have Han Solo pinned against a wall. You let him keep his hand beneath the table? WTF? Was "Greedo" alien for Forest Gump? Maybe Rainman?
9. Remember in the original Star Wars movie, Darth Vader is a flunky taking flak off admirals and running errands for Grand Moff Tarkin? Hey this dude was #2 only to the emperor, how'd he get to be Tarkin's bitch? If I am evil, Tarkin is toast the minute the emporor says he is my boss. (Uh, sorry my master, apparently he choked on his steak! Such a tragedy! Heimlich? Who the hell is Heimlich?)
10. Vader tortured Leia in the 4th movie to extract military info from her and we are all mature enough to know that kind of torture always involves sexual things. Ewwwww! He did "things" to his own daughter!!! Ewwwwww!
11. Anakin had dreams of his wife dying so he slaughtered an entire school full of children? Not even something like a remote bombing but face to face? So unbelievable! I had an aunt who raised me like a mother and I love her like no one else. I would still never slaughter children to save her from the cancer that took her nor would she have ever wanted me to. That jump was just too great! No way! It's like Lucas suddenly went, "welp its been 2 3/4 movies so far I guess I'd better get around to making him evil now?" "Abracadabra! Your evil!" Ugh.
12. In cloud City when Luke attempts suicide- so what the hell is the deal with big super fun slides at the bottoms of huge air shafts? Then it has a drain to the outside? I mean that thing sure is reminiscent of a spit valve on a trombone.
13. OK, who the hell mounts a TV antenna right under the spit valve. I mean WTH man?
14. Obi-wan Kenobi and R2-D2 Adventure together in the first three movies spanning about 15 years? But in the forth movie, roughly 18 years later R2-D2 finds Obi-Wan on Tattoine and neither one recognizes the other?
15. Do Robots Age? RD-D2 could freaking FLY in the second and third movies, why not in The last three? Arthritis acting up? Perhaps mineral deficiencies! (AR!)
16. Did you ever count up the number of times the robots were totally abandoned but then seemed to show up later? DID they have credit cards so they could catch mass transit home or what?
17. The absolute slap in the face to every sci-fi fan in existence, in the third movie when the big damaged battle cruiser turns nose "down" towards the planet and every one slides down the deck. Then they "level" the ship out and everyone stops sliding! THERE IS NO LEVEL IN SPACE! Oh dear lord! PUH-lease! What next, is the cook gonna fall off the fan tail and hit the propeller? Don't imitate the movie Titanic with a space ship for gods sake! (unless your "Futurama". That was a good episode!)
If I ever get the chance someone is getting soooo bitch slapped for that one!
18. Darth Vader was clearly a man (not that there was any doubt) because he got his "costume" when his kids were born and by the time they were adult he had not changed his 'look' a bit. Only a man keeps a hairstyle for 20 years let alone his entire wardrobe!
19. Jar Jar. Nuff said.
When I was oh so young I was already hooked on science fiction thanks to the master story teller Robert A. Heinlien. Then along comes this crazy movie called Star Wars. It was about a farm boy who wanted more than anything to be a fighter pilot.
As far as I was concerned the movie was about me. I never understood how Lucas had me to a "T" when as far as I new we had never met yet he made a movie about me. :)
Needless to say my love affair was deep! I read the book 27 times (I put a mark on the back fly page each time I finished it.) When the movie FINALLY got to a smaller theater near me I literally spent the whole Saturday there. I hid in the bathroom between each showing and watched it 4, 5 (???) times back to back. It was the greatest thing EVER.
Then I met each addition to the Star Wars legacy with great excitement.
25 years later my perspective seems to have shifted. Recently I saw all 6 movies back to back. This is something no fan should ever do I guess. As I OD'd on Star Wars I began to notice things that my love blinders had previously filtered out. I have compiled a list of all the annoying sometimes nonsensical things I noticed (and can still remember!) as I watched all the movies back to back. Its a list that makes me sad. It's like realizing your life long best friend steals from orphans for a living or something. :(
NOTE: Phantom Menace = first movie here and the Original "Star Wars" is the 4th movie
1. It hurts but it must be said! Luke was a whinny little bitch. (My hero! NooooOOOoooOOo!)
2. As was his father before he got evil.
3. As is the stupid golden robot, C3PO!
4. Speaking of which- I want to meet the shitty programmer who created a protocol droid that was soooooo annoying! How is a machine that pisses off everything around it going to be an effective diplomat!?
In that mighty future could they not just download a better personality for the whiney bitch robot?
5. How is that C3PO, being so damned annoying was not killed several times over? I would have killed it pretty quick myself!
6. Then to top it off why in the hell would anyone reassemble the sumbish after he was blown apart!? I mean a party celebrating not having to listen to him would have been more in order than rebuilding him. I mean seriously!?
7. The Empire might not have fallen had they had at least ONE competent storm trooper in the last three movies. I mean in those last three movies storm troopers fired thousands of shots and they had one and ONLY one hit when they blew C3PO apart. In fact, in cloud city Chewbacca is running down a hall with an annoying droid strapped to his back and the storm trooper is behind him and MISSED! WTF! How can you miss an 8 foot wookie IN A HALLWAY when you are shooting him in the back!? GAAAH!
8. Ok you are a bounty hunter. You have Han Solo pinned against a wall. You let him keep his hand beneath the table? WTF? Was "Greedo" alien for Forest Gump? Maybe Rainman?
9. Remember in the original Star Wars movie, Darth Vader is a flunky taking flak off admirals and running errands for Grand Moff Tarkin? Hey this dude was #2 only to the emperor, how'd he get to be Tarkin's bitch? If I am evil, Tarkin is toast the minute the emporor says he is my boss. (Uh, sorry my master, apparently he choked on his steak! Such a tragedy! Heimlich? Who the hell is Heimlich?)
10. Vader tortured Leia in the 4th movie to extract military info from her and we are all mature enough to know that kind of torture always involves sexual things. Ewwwww! He did "things" to his own daughter!!! Ewwwwww!
11. Anakin had dreams of his wife dying so he slaughtered an entire school full of children? Not even something like a remote bombing but face to face? So unbelievable! I had an aunt who raised me like a mother and I love her like no one else. I would still never slaughter children to save her from the cancer that took her nor would she have ever wanted me to. That jump was just too great! No way! It's like Lucas suddenly went, "welp its been 2 3/4 movies so far I guess I'd better get around to making him evil now?" "Abracadabra! Your evil!" Ugh.
12. In cloud City when Luke attempts suicide- so what the hell is the deal with big super fun slides at the bottoms of huge air shafts? Then it has a drain to the outside? I mean that thing sure is reminiscent of a spit valve on a trombone.
13. OK, who the hell mounts a TV antenna right under the spit valve. I mean WTH man?
14. Obi-wan Kenobi and R2-D2 Adventure together in the first three movies spanning about 15 years? But in the forth movie, roughly 18 years later R2-D2 finds Obi-Wan on Tattoine and neither one recognizes the other?
15. Do Robots Age? RD-D2 could freaking FLY in the second and third movies, why not in The last three? Arthritis acting up? Perhaps mineral deficiencies! (AR!)
16. Did you ever count up the number of times the robots were totally abandoned but then seemed to show up later? DID they have credit cards so they could catch mass transit home or what?
17. The absolute slap in the face to every sci-fi fan in existence, in the third movie when the big damaged battle cruiser turns nose "down" towards the planet and every one slides down the deck. Then they "level" the ship out and everyone stops sliding! THERE IS NO LEVEL IN SPACE! Oh dear lord! PUH-lease! What next, is the cook gonna fall off the fan tail and hit the propeller? Don't imitate the movie Titanic with a space ship for gods sake! (unless your "Futurama". That was a good episode!)
If I ever get the chance someone is getting soooo bitch slapped for that one!
18. Darth Vader was clearly a man (not that there was any doubt) because he got his "costume" when his kids were born and by the time they were adult he had not changed his 'look' a bit. Only a man keeps a hairstyle for 20 years let alone his entire wardrobe!
19. Jar Jar. Nuff said.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
New Movie
At the movies this last weekend I saw a trailer for the pending Tim Burton flick "Alice in Wonderland". Now I do like weird avant garde stuff so it looked very entertaining to me. However, like oh so many Tim Burton flicks that looked good in trailer form in the past, I am sure I will be disappointed in the end. :)
Just one observation though, Johnny Depp is cast as the Mad Hatter. Now most actors do not like to be type cast so don't you think Johnny Depp would get tired of playing weird yet effeminate characters at some point in his career?
Just one observation though, Johnny Depp is cast as the Mad Hatter. Now most actors do not like to be type cast so don't you think Johnny Depp would get tired of playing weird yet effeminate characters at some point in his career?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Bad Date Movie!
Yesterday I went to see the movie, “He is just not that into you.”
It was my idea. I saw the trailers and I thought it looked funny so I actually wanted to go see it.
Uhhhh, clearly this is a TOTAL chick flick because this is the most lopsided male-female ratio I have seen in a movie theater audience since I went to see “P.S. I love You” with Erika.
I actually counted- there were three men in the audience including me.
This is not a good date movie. There is quite a bit of tension and awkwardness while male and female dating behaviors are dissected in all their glorious gory details.
Still it was a very funny movie- I laughed quite a bit. Sadly there was one part that just totally sent me into hysterics. I say sadly because apparently no one else thought it was funny. I was the only one laughing (and laughing and laughing). I knew I was alone but I could not stop! Thank goodness for small favors as at least I did not snort! I guess it was a “guy joke” and the other two guys there were smart enough NOT to laugh at the “guy joke” while swimming in a sea of angry estrogen.
Did I mention this is not a good date movie?
Still I laughed AND it was very thought provoking and in my book that is the perfect combination!
It was my idea. I saw the trailers and I thought it looked funny so I actually wanted to go see it.
Uhhhh, clearly this is a TOTAL chick flick because this is the most lopsided male-female ratio I have seen in a movie theater audience since I went to see “P.S. I love You” with Erika.
I actually counted- there were three men in the audience including me.
This is not a good date movie. There is quite a bit of tension and awkwardness while male and female dating behaviors are dissected in all their glorious gory details.
Still it was a very funny movie- I laughed quite a bit. Sadly there was one part that just totally sent me into hysterics. I say sadly because apparently no one else thought it was funny. I was the only one laughing (and laughing and laughing). I knew I was alone but I could not stop! Thank goodness for small favors as at least I did not snort! I guess it was a “guy joke” and the other two guys there were smart enough NOT to laugh at the “guy joke” while swimming in a sea of angry estrogen.
Did I mention this is not a good date movie?
Still I laughed AND it was very thought provoking and in my book that is the perfect combination!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Movie reviews
Movie reviews are not my bit here but I have recently seen two movies that were certainly blog worthy each in their own way.
The Saturday before last I saw the remake of "The Day the Earth Stood Still".
Since the original is an absolute classic I KNEW I would be disappointed but I had to follow the Jennifer Connelly rule - I see anything with Jennifer Connelly in it. :)
So I was ready to be disappointed but WOW! This thing was a total stink fest. This thing was "StarGate" bad! What am I saying? This was seeing your grandma naked bad!
Since I knew my perceptions were warped by my low expectations I asked other people in the lobby afterwards what they thought. The kindest answer I got was "It could of been better". The unkindest answer I got was "That was so bad I am offended!"
After I saw the movie I checked the tomato meter. 17% - wow!
You know, there was not even a day when the Earth 'stood still' in the stupid remake. So the title does not even makes sense in the context of this movie! Gah!
It was soooo bad it actually made me sad. All the money and effort of so many people that go into a major movie and to have all of that money and labor turn into such a total piece of crap is a sad thing not to mention what it does to the legacy of such a classic movie.
Very sad.
On a better note I saw "Gran Torino" this Saturday. I don't want to give much away but like another Eastwood flick, "Million Dollar Baby", this one does not end how you think it will.
It is very rare to hear applause in a movie theater when the end credits roll but that is what I heard Saturday.
The other thing I liked about this movie is that it brought back some fond memories of my blue collar "working man" days. The easy camaraderie and back and forth of loving insults amongst men who work for a living. I have been a white collar "professional" for so long now I almost forgot how much fun it used to be to go to work and be crude- and it was OK.
Our world has become so very PC now and that movie reminded me of how things were when non-PC things could be said as long as they were not maliciously intended. (Of course, don't get me wrong, Clint Eastwood's character was mostly malicious! :) )
Anyway, to sum this post up, DON'T see "The Day the Earth Stood Still" and DO see "Gran Torino"
The Saturday before last I saw the remake of "The Day the Earth Stood Still".
Since the original is an absolute classic I KNEW I would be disappointed but I had to follow the Jennifer Connelly rule - I see anything with Jennifer Connelly in it. :)
So I was ready to be disappointed but WOW! This thing was a total stink fest. This thing was "StarGate" bad! What am I saying? This was seeing your grandma naked bad!
Since I knew my perceptions were warped by my low expectations I asked other people in the lobby afterwards what they thought. The kindest answer I got was "It could of been better". The unkindest answer I got was "That was so bad I am offended!"
After I saw the movie I checked the tomato meter. 17% - wow!
You know, there was not even a day when the Earth 'stood still' in the stupid remake. So the title does not even makes sense in the context of this movie! Gah!
It was soooo bad it actually made me sad. All the money and effort of so many people that go into a major movie and to have all of that money and labor turn into such a total piece of crap is a sad thing not to mention what it does to the legacy of such a classic movie.
Very sad.
On a better note I saw "Gran Torino" this Saturday. I don't want to give much away but like another Eastwood flick, "Million Dollar Baby", this one does not end how you think it will.
It is very rare to hear applause in a movie theater when the end credits roll but that is what I heard Saturday.
The other thing I liked about this movie is that it brought back some fond memories of my blue collar "working man" days. The easy camaraderie and back and forth of loving insults amongst men who work for a living. I have been a white collar "professional" for so long now I almost forgot how much fun it used to be to go to work and be crude- and it was OK.
Our world has become so very PC now and that movie reminded me of how things were when non-PC things could be said as long as they were not maliciously intended. (Of course, don't get me wrong, Clint Eastwood's character was mostly malicious! :) )
Anyway, to sum this post up, DON'T see "The Day the Earth Stood Still" and DO see "Gran Torino"
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I found it!
After reading Ohmommy's comment to yesterday's post (if you have not read that post read it now or this one won't make sense.) I decided to go look and see if I could find the video store girl's blog. I think this is it...
Terror!
So I was working at the video store Sunday morning. Sunday morning is my favorite shift because no one ever comes in. So I can just basically stare off into space or listen to the radio or even watch movie trailers all morning and get paid for it. Sweet!
However, for the first time this last Sunday I was really regretting how empty the store is on Sunday mornings! You see, right then Nick Nolte walked in.
Ladies, I do not mean hot, young "The Deep" Nick Nolte. Nope, not even scruffier but still reasonably hot "48 hours" Nick Nolte. Nope, I mean 4 AM mugshot after shooting Yeager bombs and riding in what he calls his time machine but the rest of us call a clothes dryer all night long Nike Nolte!
He was scruffy and dirty and he just looked wild and he was walking right towards me! Then horror of horrors I realized it was NOT Nick Nolte after shooting Yeager bombs and riding in his clothes dryer! It must be some crazy homeless dude wondering in! I was totaly freaked out as he came walking straight towards me! Oh my god! What do I do? Where can I hide?
He walks right up to the counter and sets down a DVD, The Other Boleyn Girl. I am thinking "What the hell is a crazy homeless dude doing with the The Other Boleyn Girl?" Did he find it and want a reward? Then he said he owes late charges on it. What? Why in the hell would a crazy homeless dude rent The Other Boleyn Girl.? He must really be out there so now I am really scared!
With shaking hands I scan the movie, it is legit and it is one day late. Trying to hide the fear in my voice I say "That will be $2.60 sir" while brutally suppressing the urge to say "tree-fiddy" (only South Park fans will get that one)
Have you ever tried to count out change with one hand? I did because I had the other hand on the silent alarm the whole time! Through the fog of terror I realize he is speaking while I am trying to count with one hand. Is that a joke? Oh my God is this insane man-monster actually flirting with me!? OOOoooooo, don't make eye contact- don't make eye contact- what ever you do NOT make eye contact! Should I smile at this flirty joke? I don't know, that might encourage him, but if I ignore him he might become enraged and kill me right here! Oh dear god what ever you do DO NOT give this psycho the eye roll he so richly deserves! I am so petrified I can't do anything!
Oh thank the Lord he is leaving without killing me. Doing nothing seemed to have worked. Oh man, that was a close one! For the first time in a minute I remember to breath. BUT right as he was at the door he stopped, turned towards me again and it was at that point I KNEW he was a total pyshco! He asked me, "Oh, I am doing a survey for a federal grant, are you by any chance coo coo for Cocoa Puffs?"
OMG! What kind of trick question is this? Is he going to flip a coin and kill me depending on my answer? I really tried to say, "No." but I was too terrified to speak. I just stared at him while trying to make my mouth say the word "No". After a few seconds he smiled, shrugged and walked out.
For the second time in as many minutes I remembered to breath
For the first time I am totally jealous of my friend Brittany who works at Wal-Mart. They have security guards there!
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