Ok, work really had me stressed out Wednesday morning. I never used to be stressed out. It’s just not my nature; I am just a pretty laid back guy. These state contracts can be lucrative but they seem to be getting to me.
I would tell you all about it but I would hate to see you all start nodding off at all the gory detail on the political infighting of entrenched bureaucracy. I’ll just sum it up by saying that by lunchtime on Wednesday I had a tic in my left eye. Now I always joke about getting a tic but this time I actually had a physically uncontrollable tic in my left eye! Creepy!
Upon seeing my eye, the lady I work with said, “C’mon, time to get outta here, let’s get lunch.” So we went to Pizza Hut. I was sitting there ranting about the day so far with her while eating some pizza and then I bit my cheek.
Oh not just any old nip of the cheek- I got a solid bite on it. In fact, I could tell by the way my teeth pressed through the flesh that it was not pizza I just cut through before I even felt the pain. It felt like a piece of tender steak. I had a chance to think - Oooooo, that's gonna hurt before it even hurt!
I poked a nice hole into my check and a big flap of meat was hanging loose. Yeah, I was done eating and I spent the rest of the afternoon with my tongue holding the flap of meat down so it would heal. Ever try to bandaage the inside of your cheek? They don't stick very well.
Not too long after that as I had the bleeding under control :) I went to blow my nose. I picked a napkin up off the table and blew normally. I saw it a millisecond before it went in.
You know the pepper sprinkles (seeds) pizza joints always have? I love them! I always use them. I even have a shaker at home! Well, I guess a flake or two of red pepper seed got onto my napkin, then when I blew my nose a seed shot right up the crack between the napkin and my nose and went right into my right eye!
I blinked and the seed got under my lower eyelid. I start tearing up trying to blink it out from under the eye lid. I can feel it kinda scratchy under there and it’s starting to burn. I jumped up and headed to the bathroom with just one eye to use the mirror and sink to fish it out but someone is in there and it’s locked.
Now the tears are coming hard and heavy and it’s really burning- bad.
So here I am standing in a dimly lit and dirty bathroom alcove in the sprawling metropolis of Springfield with a bleeding hole in my cheek and my eyes watering like crazy with no where to go.
Then, in the midst of pain, blood and tears, I had a flash back and an epiphany- when I was small and in Catholic School the nuns use to tell us boys that when we touched our selves it made the baby Jesus cry. They also taught us that Jesus would always forgive us if we asked.
So right there in that dingy Pizza Hut alcove I took the chance to say to Jesus, I am really sorry for making you cry so often. I now realize that my middle teen years must have been pretty rough on you having to cry so much. So now I am asking forgiveness, so please, I hope you will not continue to make me cry in return.
Just in case though, today I shook my napkin out quite thoroughly before blowing my nose.