Thursday, February 17, 2011

A New Show Idea

 As if the the E! Network is not already unofficially the Kardashian channel they are getting ready to add yet another program to the Kardashian line up.

Wow, so how do any of these shows stay on the air anyway? Yes, The Kardashian girls are gorgeous. A given, but they are whiny, self possessed and annoying as hell. They are every bit as bad as conceited 13 year old's (since they were raised rich and spoiled 13 is probably about their correct emotional age and state)

Hey E! Here is an idea, How about turning the Kardashian's out into the wild and having big game hunters stalk and hunt them down them with tranquilizer guns? Now THAT is a show I would never miss!

Oh yeah, at least one of the hunters has to be Australian so we can get the whole crocodile hunter format thing going. Imagine all the following in an Aussie accent:

Oy,  look here mate, we are on the trail all right! We have spoor! A purple speckled toenail and a tuft of matted hair still stuck to the waxing strip! Clearly we are on the trail of a wild Kardashian. Sssh sssh, mate, if we listen carefully we can hear the mateing whine of the wild Kardashian..."

{enhanced fuzzy audio} "Nobody ever gives me any respect!  I can't believe I was not invited to her party! I mean I invited her to my party, why didn't she..."

"Yes, yes, mates, we are clearly closing in, quiet now, very quiet as the wild Kardashian can lash out with sharpened claws and really damage your eyes mate.... {stalking...stalking}

A sadly not so rare photo of a wild Kardashian beast in it's natural habitat.
 {wispering} Crickey! Look at that, we have found a wild Kardashian in her natural element, admiring herself in the mirror and whining incessantly. Now is the time to strike, lets shoot the tranq. (FOOONT)

Crickey she is a strong one mate, she is dazed but not going down! Looks like all that partying has built up her resistance to the tranqs! Looks like we need a second tranq for this beefy girl... (FOOONT)

My Gawd, she is still up- the force of self possession and self importance is strong in this one, Two tranqs and she is still stumbling around, we better end this before she hurts her self {FOONT FOONT)

And. she. is. down! It took 4 tranqs! What a trophy mates, what a trophy!

Well mates, that was a smacking good hunt eh? Tune in again and let's see which Kardashian falls next time on "Kardashian Hunters"! Only on E!


Anonymous said...

That's funny stuff Rob. Even better than prehensile nipples. I would tune in in a heartbeat!

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

Somebody noticed! {sniff}

Thanks buddy! I gotta get on the old Southwest out to Amarillo soon, it's been way too long since we tipped a few!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to see spin offs from "Kardashian Hunters". There's TV gold here. Yeah, you do need to get up (down?) here soon. We have pilot episodes to write.