Monday, July 20, 2009

More Springfield Weirdness

No pictures this time so I will just have to paint the pictures verbally...

Weird #1)
I was sitting at a stop light and a car pulled up next to me, it's hood is about even with my passenger door so I can't see the driver. Rap music was a thumping and bumping very loud. (Please, let us not confuse, urban contemp. or hip-hop with Rap, this was RAP.)

Other than being reminded once again that this is the only form of music that I really do not care for I did not pay much attention one way or the other. Then the light turned green and the booming rap car gradually overtook me. The only occupant of the car was a grey haired old man!
Holy shattered stereotypes Batman!

Then I got this mental image of a guy with a boom box lashed to his walker shuffling down the hall of the "rest" home booming out, "So I busted a cap in my bitches ass..."

Weird, very weird.

Weird #2)
I was eating breakfast at a restaurant, I got up to leave. I am walking down a row a tables towards the door. At the table on the end of the row a woman is seated facing me. She has large boobs AND a very deep V cut shirt. Ladies, I do my best not to ogle and drool but c'mon! :)

So I am walking down the aisle towards her glancing at her occasionally as I get closer. Here are the thoughts that ran though my mind on each glance... (Bear in mind this is why they never made the other side of the movie "What Women Want" we already know what men are thinking all the time and we don't need to be reminded of it. :) )

"Oh my- Look at that! Thank you for sharing ma'am!"
"Might be a little much for a Sunday morning but I am not complaining, very nice."
As I get closer I can see a football shaped dark area right above the cleavage crack...
"What is that? Is that a shadow?"
Getting closer..
"The light is not right for a shadow- Maybe it's an odd sunburn?"
Closer still
"Is it a birth mark?"
Closer yet...
OH DEAR LORD IT'S HAIR! IT'S A PATCH OF LONG BLACK HAIR you can see from across the room! The hairs are actually long enough to be matted up! AIIIIEEEEEE!

Ok, I do NOT get this. If you have the kind of boobs you want to show off. (and you don't wear a blouse like this if you are not trying to show off) then my goodness do something about the fur! A shot of Nair? A razor? Black and Decker hedge clippers? Something! At the very least don't wear a blouse that pulls eyes eyes right to the patch of fur.

Yep, very weird.

With all that said though, now I am jealous, she has better chest hair than I do. :(

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Ah Springfield

Just a post of odd things seen around Springfield lately. Well in addition to pajama's at the fast food joint.

I am sure someone thought this was very cute but it merely annoyed me!

Oh my god it finally happened! McDonalds killed one mid meal!

Notice the other guy caught me taking a picture of his buddy! That always happens to me at the topless beach too! I gotta learn to be more sneaky when snapping pics! ;)

Really? Harry Potter has to be around here somewhere looking for his train! I swear this picture is not doctored! I have never seen a half street before.

57? Really? 57? WTH? How did they pull 57 out of their butts? Not 55, not 60 but 57? That is soooo weird!

This is the kind of thing that makes you start to question the universe. Does it really exist? Are we all just figments of some mad god's imagination? How do molecules combine in such a way as to create life? I mean seriously, this the kind of thing that leads philosophy majors to commit suicide! Solipsism. SOLIPSISM!! AHHHHHH!!

Ok, I'm better now. Obviously Freshetta is trying to drive McDonalds out of business. I mean if all the philosophy majors commit suicide who will be left to say, "Would you like fries with that?"?

I suppose it's only right that someone take down those grandpa killing bastards!