Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Boy and his Hamsters

As a child I used to have a bunch of hamsters. I had the hamster habitat thing with plastic tubes that would connect hamster cages together and you could build hamster runs around your desk or what not. Of course hamsters would have little hamsters and I would trade, sell or give away the baby hamsters.

Then one sad day my fun with hamsters ended. Hamsters being rodents NEED to gnaw on things to keep their tooth growth in check and one day I put some pencils in the cages figuring the wood would be a great gnawing medium. However, I did not think it through and it turned out the the graphite core in the pencils killed all my hamsters. I was a little traumatized to come home from first grade to find I had inadvertently killed all my little buddies. Little furry bodies were strewn everywhere. Oh the horror!

So on a different track... If you watch TV at all surely you have seen this commercial since it plays incessantly. Talk about your mass media buy eh?

Anyway I find it deeply disturbing. You see, until this commercial I never knew hamsters were black. I am sure we are all at least a little shocked to discover this.

However for me this discovery has been a little sick making! After all these years and now I find out I was a slave owner. OH MY GOD! Then to make it even worse I had my own little concentration camps going. Instead of "showers" though I gave them graphite "chew toys" and commited genocide on all my little slaves!

Excuse me, suddenly I feel sick!

The only bright spot to this whole sick sad story is that unlike SO many slave owners at least I did not impregnate any of my slaves. Thank god for small favors!

Springfield Weirdness Report #5

Item 1- Ok, my current contract is with the State Police and I work in headquarters so coming in and out through the lobby I am quite accustomed to seeing all types of law enforcement people; police from any number of cities, FBI, DEA, etc, all show up from time to time so its no biggie. However this morning when I came in I saw something truly weird.

There was a Catholic priest in the lobby in the traditional black business suit but with the collar. HOWEVER, he had a big gold star pinned to his dress coat and he was packing a 9 MM on his hip.

It was soooo odd a sight and frankly so unbelievable, I mean can priests even be cops and pack heat? I really wanted to get a picture but it occured to me he might be under cover and only wearing badge and gun in HQ so I left it alone. Still, I wonder about it- I mean WTH?

Item 2 - WTF? Just what road is this sign referring too?!
(click picture to enlarge)

Ok, did'ja notice the blue fire hydrant to the right of the "road closed" sign? A fire hydrant in an empty field. Just toooo weird.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

It has to end sometime...

My vacation is over and I am back at my desk.

It was really weird to put on socks and long legged pants today, I had not worn either in over a week. So I am a bit mopey today which is actually good. You see, I once read it takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 muscles to frown so unhappy people get a nearly 300% more effective work out while frowning.

I seem to be getting a pretty good workout this morning! :)