Adventures in Fast Food Land.

I went to Burger King today. We were all quite confused.

The girl thought I was a moron and the feeling was mutual for awhile there and it was all just simple miscommunication.

I don’t eat there very often so I don’t know the menu. So I see this “Angry Whopper” thing up on the big board and I have seen the commercials on TV so I know it is a hot and spicy burger.

I LOVE hot and spicy!

Being the petite and gentle thing I am though :) I don’t want a big giant whopper burger though so I ask if they have something smaller in the "angry line up". No, the whopper is all they have angry style. The next cashier down however offers that they can make any sandwich I like “angry style” so it’s not a problem. Cool.

So now I am looking at the menu looking for the little double cheeseburger thing everyone has but it’s always some cutsie name to make it different from the full sized double burger. For example Wendy’s calls their little one a “Double Stack” (how I know that is a blog post all it’s own)

So I am scouring the menu looking for their custie name and I am getting frustrated that I cannot find it and wishing I could just order a double cheeseburger and not have to play the “what did marketing decide to call it this year?” game. I finally asked the girl behind the register “What do you call your double cheeseburger?”

She just looked at me. She may have blinked a few times but she said nothing.

What the heck? The way this game is played is I ask a question in English you give me an answer, preferably in English as well. She is not playing right! After an awkward silence I turned to the other counter girl who had already been so helpful and asked her, “What do you call your double cheeseburger here?”

Without missing a beat she answered, “A double cheeseburger.”

Well f’ing duh! Now I am really feeling pretty stupid.

So why in the heck didn’t the first girl just give me the same answer instead of just staring at me when I asked her what they called their double cheeseburger? Did she think it was a trick question? When was the war of 1812? Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? How many survivors did they bury? Where do roosters lay thier eggs? What?

Perhaps she was like the video store girl? She was terrified of enraging the obvious psycho and was trying to select the answer least likely to throw me into a murderous rage and just chose silence? Then again this time I had taken a shower and everything so I did not look like a psycho. (???)

So I ordered the damned sneakily named double cheeseburger. She asked me if I still wanted it “angry”? Oh yes!

After all of that work though to get that little angry double cheeseburger it was a quite a letdown. It really needed some kick. It was not really angry at all.

At best, it was just annoyed. Perhaps a bit testy?

Somewhere right now there is a blog post about the moron who asked what do they call a double cheesburger.