STFU!

It’s pouring down rain here in Utopia this morning.

It’s July third and I am already feeling the holiday spirit of the coming long weekend and frankly, my usual breakfast of Slim Fast is just not getting my motor revved up this morning. I had the distinct urge to actually chew something this morning!

Now I am NOT a morning person so no way in hell am I breaking out a skillet and COOKING something before work so I decide to hit a fast food joint on the way to work.

Hardees has a Low Carb Breakfast Bowl so I decide on that so I don’t feel *too* guilty for blowing off the Slim Fast! :)

Now, seriously, I don’t mind at all how fast food joints always do the ‘upsell’ on the drive through. I mean hell, sometimes it even works on me, “Would you like fries with that?”
“Why yes I would! Super size ‘em too!”, nom nom nom nom nom!

However, really, can we skip that and the all the marketing material when it’s pouring down rain? I mean you drive up, put the window down and the nomination acceptance speech begins;
“Good morning welcome to Hardee’s where we make our country biscuits fresh from scratch every morning. Fresh never fozen! Would you like to try our new Strawberry Country Biscuit this morning?”
By now my shirt sleeve is soaked, rivulets of water are running down the inside of my door and water is puddling in the carpet.
“Low Carb Breakfast Bowl and a medium tea please.”
“Would you like hash browns with that?”
“No thanks” and since I feel the water starting to rise up between my toes I repress my sarcastic urge to point out that hash browns would defeat the entire point of ordering a Low Carb Beakfast bowl!
“Would you like to upsize that?”
“No thanks”, again suppressing an urge to be rude- Basic logic says never be rude to people who handle what you are about to put in your mouth! Still, now the rising flood waters are up to my ankles, can we get on with this?
“Ok, we at Hardee’s want to make sure we get your order right so that was a Low Carb Breakfast Bowl and a medium iced tea, right?”
“Yes” with just a little tinge of desperation in my voice as the flood waters are now flushing crap out from under my seats that I have not seen in years! OH! So that is where that disappeared to huh?
“That will be $4.93 please pull around to the second window.”
AS I am going around the corner to the second window the flood waters are sloshing around my interiour banging all the floating crap into the console. The ice scrapper gets tangled up between my knees and I almost did not hit the brakes in time.

Since the drive through window is under a covering I go ahead and open my door and let most of the flood waters wash out. The hardee’s people can pick up all the trash, gum wrappers etc., that the waters flushed out of their hiding places in that bizarre 6th dimension that seems to exist under the seats of every car and are now pouring out my door with the water. I snag my ice scrapper as it floats by though since I might need it again someday.

Hey there corporate mega-food people. How about putting an awning or something over the ordering area so we get a little protection from the elements when we come spend money with you? Yeah, your right, that would cost a little money so here is an other idea…

How about just shutting the hell up and taking my order with minimal bullshit when the weather sucks?

So, how many MBA’s does it take to figure that one out?