Thursday, July 3, 2008


It’s pouring down rain here in Utopia this morning.

It’s July third and I am already feeling the holiday spirit of the coming long weekend and frankly, my usual breakfast of Slim Fast is just not getting my motor revved up this morning. I had the distinct urge to actually chew something this morning!

Now I am NOT a morning person so no way in hell am I breaking out a skillet and COOKING something before work so I decide to hit a fast food joint on the way to work.

Hardees has a Low Carb Breakfast Bowl so I decide on that so I don’t feel *too* guilty for blowing off the Slim Fast! :)

Now, seriously, I don’t mind at all how fast food joints always do the ‘upsell’ on the drive through. I mean hell, sometimes it even works on me, “Would you like fries with that?”
“Why yes I would! Super size ‘em too!”, nom nom nom nom nom!

However, really, can we skip that and the all the marketing material when it’s pouring down rain? I mean you drive up, put the window down and the nomination acceptance speech begins;
“Good morning welcome to Hardee’s where we make our country biscuits fresh from scratch every morning. Fresh never fozen! Would you like to try our new Strawberry Country Biscuit this morning?”
By now my shirt sleeve is soaked, rivulets of water are running down the inside of my door and water is puddling in the carpet.
“Low Carb Breakfast Bowl and a medium tea please.”
“Would you like hash browns with that?”
“No thanks” and since I feel the water starting to rise up between my toes I repress my sarcastic urge to point out that hash browns would defeat the entire point of ordering a Low Carb Beakfast bowl!
“Would you like to upsize that?”
“No thanks”, again suppressing an urge to be rude- Basic logic says never be rude to people who handle what you are about to put in your mouth! Still, now the rising flood waters are up to my ankles, can we get on with this?
“Ok, we at Hardee’s want to make sure we get your order right so that was a Low Carb Breakfast Bowl and a medium iced tea, right?”
“Yes” with just a little tinge of desperation in my voice as the flood waters are now flushing crap out from under my seats that I have not seen in years! OH! So that is where that disappeared to huh?
“That will be $4.93 please pull around to the second window.”
AS I am going around the corner to the second window the flood waters are sloshing around my interiour banging all the floating crap into the console. The ice scrapper gets tangled up between my knees and I almost did not hit the brakes in time.

Since the drive through window is under a covering I go ahead and open my door and let most of the flood waters wash out. The hardee’s people can pick up all the trash, gum wrappers etc., that the waters flushed out of their hiding places in that bizarre 6th dimension that seems to exist under the seats of every car and are now pouring out my door with the water. I snag my ice scrapper as it floats by though since I might need it again someday.

Hey there corporate mega-food people. How about putting an awning or something over the ordering area so we get a little protection from the elements when we come spend money with you? Yeah, your right, that would cost a little money so here is an other idea…

How about just shutting the hell up and taking my order with minimal bullshit when the weather sucks?

So, how many MBA’s does it take to figure that one out?


Sauntering Soul said...

You could always move to Atlanta. We're in a drought and I haven't had the need for an ice scraper in years. We can sit at a drive-thru for hours and listen to them sell us crap we don't need.

Melek said...

yeah, i went to A&W the other night just for a rootbeer float and she gave us some diatribe about how she's making a bunch of food right now and if we wanted to order any food it was going to take about 8-10 minutes to get it. and thank you for coming to A&W may i take your order.

i was like, hmmmm, DOWNselling....that's a new one.

Mags said...

This is SO true-it's ridiculous. What I hate the most is when they don't ask you what size you want and you end up with a large by default. Uh...not only do I not want all of that extra food and drink, I don't want to pay for it, thankyouverymuch.

Stupid drive thru's!

Kat said...

Oh man I feel you. Same thing happened to me last night at McD's drive through.

So I am not the only one to be careful. I am always weary of people handling my food out of fear they'd spit on my burger.

Crazymamaof6 said...

then there is the flip side of ordering , when you want to order more than 2 of anything, and they cut you off, and don't let you finish your freaking order. they are always cutting me off, and i have at least 5 more things i have to order, let me finish my freaking order instead of rushing me through dang it.

but yeah during inclement weather, i agree, keep it to a minimum. then again. 115 blowing through my car window, wasting all my delightful air conditioning sucks too. while i wait for them to even say can i take your order? usually I'm sweating and my mouth is dry and parched by the time i pull up to the window to pay!

Beth said...

gawd, you crack me up!!! and uh...I got something for you to chew on! ;)

sorry I missed your call :(

Melissa said...

"How about just shutting the hell up and taking my order with minimal bullshit when the weather sucks?"

How about just doing that all the time, not just when the weather sucks!

tammy said...

If no one's in line, my hubby likes to throw them off and skip the speaker box and go straight to the window to order - bad weather or not. They don't know what the hell to do then.

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

Sauntering- Well, I guess there is an upside to an epic drought huh? More sales copy! :)

Melek- Well, warning you before you ordered that it would be a little while before you got it seems pretty cool to me. You are right though, I am sure corporate would not be happy with her “down-selling” 

Mags- Yeah I forgot about that “automatic upsize” thing!

Kat- Spit? Hell my imagination is WAY worse than mere spitting! :)

CrazyMomma- Yeah I hate it when you get dehydrated just waiting to order. Maybe that is why they upsize you to large drinks automatically if you forget to say what size? :)

Beth- I’m ready!

Melissa- I don’t disagree with you I just don’t expect them to be that reasonable. :)

Tammy- Ooooo. He is a maverick huh! Wow, you just know that messes their little minds! :)