Monday, July 21, 2008

Don't Tase me Bro!

Today I saw someone get tazed.

Here in the sprawling metropolis that is Springfield I witnessed a little "law and order" today.

I was coming around a curve that has a convenience store on it. I saw a cop car in the parking lot from a distance so I checked my speed. As I looked up two people ran out in the road in front of me so I got on the brakes pretty hard.

As I was coming to stop more details emerged. A cop was chasing someone and the cop caught up to the perp (dig that street lingo huh?) right in front of me and grabbed her arm. The perp turned and swung a grocery bag at the cops head. The cop deftly ducked the swing but she let go to do it, the perp turned to run again but the cop grabbed her again and she swung at the cop's head again. Again the cop ducked the swing.

This time the cop did not grab for her again. It happened so fast I did not see it even though I was less than 10 feet away. The cop shot her with the tazer. I did not even notice until I saw the wires dangling.

Ever see anyone do an impersonation of a Tyrannosaurus Rex? Maybe a praying mantis? That is what the perp looked like when the juice hit. Those arms curled up and came up to her chin then someone must have shouted "tiiiiiiiimber" because ever so slowly at first but gaining the inevitable speed she just fell right over on the pavement and her body remained arrow straight until the impact.

It was really weird to see because anytime you see someone fall down they are trying to catch themselves or break their fall. She really did look just like a tree falling over rod straight and stiff. I mean you don't really think about how people fall until you see this and then you just know its all wrong, that is NOT how people fall down.

After a few seconds the perp tried to get up and she gave her another jolt. I guess she decided laying on that hot asphalt was actually pretty comfy after all because she did not try to get up anymore.

Since the cop and the perp were both women I had this powerful reflex left over from high school to scream "CHIC FIIIIIGHT!"- somehow I resisted it though.


Charlene said...

my brother teaches a taser class~~i've seen the videos of sheriffs and police getting trained~~they flop around like a fish out of water and some of them even cry~~it's a pretty amazing tool~~one of the local policeman said having a taser was great~~~after using it a few times, word got around "not to fuck with the cops"

Dizzy Ms. Lizzy said...

Ah yes - - just another day in the life of Springfield . . . :-)

Astrogirl426 said...

ROFL dude, you'd have so gotten your ass tazered if you shouted that.

Stacey said...

How is it possible that all of these things happen to/in front of one person?

WomensDaily said...

Good thing you didn't scream chick fight, I'm pretty sure that the cop wouldn't have appreciated that LOL. Sounds like you had quite the interesting day.

Melissa said...

LOL! Good thing you kept your mouth could have been tasered next ;)

tammy said...

You live quite the exciting life Rob. How does it feel to be you?

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

Charlene- I love high tech more than the average person but I always thought a good old fashioned night stick was plenty enough reason not to fuck with the cops! :)

Mz. Lizzy- Yep, the city that never sleeps! Well, at least before 8 PM. =)

AstroGirl- Like I said, just a stick was good enough reason not to shout that! :)

WomensDaily- Well, some cops have a great sense of humor but during what must have been an adrenaline rush silence was absolutely the better part of humor here! :)

Melissa- You know, sudden thought- tazers would probably screw up a video camera. Maybe that is why they use them instead of sticks?

Stacey and Tammy- Que? You two are teasing me right? I look over my blog and it’s about the most remarkably boring stuff- ordering fast food, shopping at Wal-Mart, returning a rented video, watching fireworks, getting keys made at Ace Hardware- I mean c’mon, my life is *deadly* boring!

I see some homeless women get tazered and what runs through my mind, "FINALY, something to blog about!" How sad is that? :(

Sauntering Soul said...

I wish I had a taser gun to use on whoever broke into my two cars in my driveway night before last. Of course that would have required me hearing them and waking up I suppose.

You sure do see some crazy stuff Rob!

Tanya said...

I'm glad you refrained from yelling out. Cause, I'm sure she (Ms. Officer) would have tazed you bro!