Thursday, October 7, 2010

I am a Moron

I can admit it.

First off a little back ground that is important to the story...

1) Most of Texas is a rather dusty place and a hard lesson you learn there is to turn the heat on for the first time each year BEFORE it gets so cold that you don't want to leave the windows open for a while afterwards. You see through out the summer the dust collects and the first time you fire up the heater all the dust gets sucked into the firebox, burned and distributed throughout the house! You get some light smoke and the smell is horrible! In fact it smells exactly what you think burning dust would smell like but just far more potent than you would expect!

Now up here in Illinois its rains ALL THE TIME so it is not so dusty here.

2) I usually get up at night at least once to pee if not more. I HATE when you get up in the middle of the night and turn on a light and then you are blinded by the seeming 10,000 candlepower spotlights you never knew were in your home! So I always keep a nightlight in the potty and never turn on a light during a midnight "stroll"

So to the story...
So this weekend we had a cold front blow through, it got down into the 30's for the first time this year. (grrrrr) However, before the front blew through it had been a very pretty day in the 70s.

So I wake up about 3:00 AM with a full bladder and I am freezing!! As I relieved the hydraulic pressure in my bladder I started to shiver and my teeth were clattering. I am still groggy and barely awake but I remember thinking DONT TURN ON THE HEAT I don't want to open all the windows and air out the house at 3:00 AM. (Even though that does not apply in Illinois, as I said, groggy!)

I also have my beloved electric blanket that Erika gave me but it is stored in the closet for summer so there is a huge hassle factor there getting it out and hooking up the wires etc. Not that big a deal really but at a groggy 3:00 AM while nibbling the edges of hypothermia it was not an appealing choice!

So I grabbed some blankets off the bed in the guest room and threw them over my bed crawled under them and shivered uncontrollably for that seeming eternity you endure while your body heat ever so slowly concentrates under the mound of blankets until you create a warm spot. .

So for the remainder of the night I was still cold but warm enough that I could at least sleep.

However, in my dreams though, I had a forced landing in my plane in the Rockies in the winter and I was sooo cold! In my dreams I was trying to build shelters and make blankets from animal hides etc because i was soooooo cold!

So in the morning I wake up with a full bladder. On a cold weekend morning hydraulic pressure or starvation are about the only things that can get me out from under a warm blanket! So I steel myself with mental exercises to convince my self it's not really cold, jump up out of bed and manage to empty the ol' bladder before the shivering starts (which would mean a mess to clean up if you know what I mean) then I head back for my warm bed.

I am stunned by the sight I see as I enter my room now bathed in daylight...

The window at the foot of my bed is WIDE open!

In my groggy 3:00 AM mental state I forgot I opened it the day before when it was so nice out and with the lights out I did not notice it being open! So 38 degree air had been flowing right in on my bed all night long!

What a dumb-ass!

By the way, if you know of a good kitty exorcicist e-mail me contact info!


tammy said...

I'm laughing. Mostly because I could see myself doing something like this.

House of Jules said...

Oh, I just laughed so hard I may have popped a lung! Hilarious!

Erika said...

I think that kitty looks like he'd be warm to cuddle with! He's got FIRE in his eyes (c;