Monday, December 8, 2008

Waitress Tales.

Two odd restaurant related stories from this last week.

Yesterday I was in a Cracker Barrel. When I get tea or coffee I use Sweet and Low sweetener which comes in the pink packets. So when the waitress dropped off my UNsweetened tea I asked her, "Do you have any pink stuff?" (McDonald's does not!)

Her face clouded up and oh her glare could have burned a hole through a log! She was deeply offended and angry. I could tell something went wrong but being the oblivious geek it took me about a four count to replay the conversation, apply alternate meanings and figure it out.

Usually in a situation like this I would get flustered and apologetic and look even more guilty but for some reason this time I did not- I was just rolling my eyes when I added, "For the tea!" and brutally suppressed the urge to add, "dumbass!"

Latter though I laughed about it.

I mean seriously- how can you work in food service and NOT know what "the pink stuff" means in the context of coffee or tea?

I was in a place called "Westwood's" which is a "sportsman" like place. You know, hunting themed with lots of stuffed animals and such. Yet they have some really creative menu items- it's a very popular place to eat in Springfield.

It's deer season here too (I guess) as I was in there weekend before last and was sitting close to a large group of men who apparently just got back into town from a hunting trip and were getting moderately ripped. There is a cute blond waiting on them and they are flirty with her but in a good natured way until one of them says in a too loud voice (if you know what I mean), "So hey there sweetie, do the curtains match the carpet?"

Now I do like to flirt a little but I cringed when I heard that because in my opinion that one crosses the line. Without missing a beat though the waitress replies, "Nope... hardwood floors." and kept on gathering dishes.

I almost shot beer out my nose! It shut them right up too!


Melissa said...

Hardwood floors! Classic...I would have had to high 5 her!

tammy said...

Hilarious! Gonna have to remember that one.

House of Jules said...

Hard. Wood.
Is that cute blond waitress trying to say she's a DUDE?

(I get what she meant, but hey, I'm just sayin'...)
House of Jules

Kat said...

ROFL. The pink stuff...yeah I bet she was offended alright.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Not :)

Hardwood floors...OMG way better than anything she could've said. Witty.

Thanks for the laugh.

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

I am so glad you all enjoyed!

Robin said...

"The pink stuff" = Pepto Bismal

No wonder she glared at you.

Andie said...

mwhahahahaha love it. hardwood floors! LOL