Monday, December 22, 2008

Save a Tree?

We have recently became aware of a disturbing new chic trend. Like many chic-ish trends it makes no sense and we would like to take a moment to explain why.

We have recently became aware that lazy inconsiderate people who do not care about the others in their life’s are using the lame excuse that they are “saving trees” for not sending cards to the people who love them so deeply.

We think it is very important for all of you to understand that the only tree's used to make Christmas Cards were clinically depressed and committed suicide first! We only tried valiantly to put their sad and lonely cadavers to a happy use by making cards out of them.

Why were they depressed and commit suicide in the first place you may wonder? Well, because they did not receive any cards from selfish eco-chic loved ones so they felt totally unloved and alone in a vast uncaring world at the most lonely time of the year!

So just think about that for a few minutes- Just how many more tress must die of depression in solitude before you start sending cards again and letting your loved ones know you did actually think of them for the 14 measly seconds it took for you to send them a card? How much tree blood and bitter loneliness will your idle hands bring into this world before you stop this selfish hateful insanity!?

As long as cards are on the shelves you will know trees are still depressed and dyeing! So buy some cards now you damned selfish hateful tree killer!

Signed,
Hallmark



(sorry Michelle, I took my comment made my own post out of it- Yeah I’m lazy- what’s your point?)

7 comments:

Shila Shila and Cult Jam said...

Eh. Trees will continue to get killed whether or not someone buys a xmas card.

If it doesn't get chopped-up into a xmas card, it'll get chopped-up into something else.

So, you're absolutely right Nerdy. It's an excuse. A lame one, too.

jinksto said...

heh heh heh, when people tell me this I ask them which tree they're saving exactly. It amuses me when they cite the rain forests as a primary concern. Mostly because most paper in North America is generated from planted tree farms. Saving trees in the rain forest is one thing but that's not really affected by use of paper in America.

tammy said...

LOL....I may have to steal this.

And your comments on my blog made me laugh. Rob is extra funny today.

Melissa said...

See now, you just shared a new excuse with me. I usually tell people I don't send cards because I'm lazy...now I can actually be lazy and sound like I'm saving the environment....SCORE!

Erika said...

I have a better idea. Let's all pulp up our Christmas trees and make Christmas cards! So... if you get my card a few months late, that'll explain why (C: (now THAT'S a good excuse!)
-E

Melek said...

i only send Christmas cards made out of Black Rhino leather in an envelope made out of Giant Panda fur, so i'm not killing a tree.

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

I just LOVE it when the comments back are funnier than the original post! I have the best readers!