Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Someone at work excitedly told me that they got a new bible! A new bible??

I suddenly had a mental picture of a guy in a beard on TV almost yelling…"Yes, it's our new and improved bible with over 3 TIMES more soul cleansing power than other bibles! Just look at this dirty old soul we found. Now watch how our new and improved bible takes all these stubborn stains off of your soul. Can you believe how that sin just melts away? AMAZING!

JD Powers and associates ranks our Bible "Best in Class" for the last three years running.

So when It comes time for your salvation don't mess around- be the best you can be! Get your new and improved bible TODAY. Don't be the last one your block to have an ooold bible, get your new and improved bible RIGHT NOW!

But wait! If you order RIGHT NOW we will double your order- That's right TWO bibles for $19.99 plus $246 shipping and handling. And if you order RIGHT NOW, we will include a Jell-O mold shaped like the state of Colorado AND a cake pan shaped like the state of Wyoming!

Don't miss out on such an incredible offer- ACT NOW!"


Robin said...

I once saw online "The Condensed Bible". I figure it only had 5 out of 10 Commandments.

Kat said...

ROFL that is a great thought. I would imagine Ned Flanders went through several bibles in his life. LOL

Dizzy Ms. Lizzy said...

I can just hear Billy Mays now . . .

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

Robin- Ah, when I saw it I thought you had to add water to it! ;) 'sides, 5 is all you need anyway!

Kat- Shoot Kat, he would have a minimum of 5 at any given time!

Mz. Lizzy- THAT's his name! Yeah he is hawking super glue for fabrics now. Cracks me up!