The Dough Boy

As I have been surfing around this week I have noticed the NaBloPoMo award on several sites. I thought it was odd to use the Pillsbury Doughboy as a blogger award but something caught my (admittedly bizarre) eye. In all of these years I never had noticed it before but now it’s clear to me.

I mean just look at these pictures… look at the scarf, look at the body language and posture, look at how the trim on his hat matches his eyes for goodness sake! The Pillsbury Doughboy is clearly gay! If he had feet you just KNOW he would have some very stylish color coordinated shoes!

Oh, OH! NOW I understand that whole “Poking the doughboy” thing in all the ads! OMG! All this time that whole ad campaign was just a big metaphor! Those brilliant and probably gay copy writers back in the 60’s were able to get all that sub text past the censors! No seriously think about it. We all know women love gay men so what better Icon to appeal to women than a gay doughboy? I mean you can even poke him now and then if you want too and he does not mind. It's all brilliant!

Ok, so you all think I am crazy right? Well here is proof. Here is the Doughboy living the gay lifestyle and trying to hook it up with the Jolly Green Giant. I know what you are thinking, "No way Jolly Green is gay!", right? Heck, just look at Jolly Green's face, clearly he knows the score here. Now look at those pecs and all the leg he is showing in that jungle man getup. Yep, clearly gay! (and don't get distracted by the butch lesbians in the background!) Now you may be wondering what someone would see in a green leafy guy but I have heard some folks say, he may be green but he is giant and sometimes giant is enough!


And here look at this... I know the other men in this picture probably just thought it was a good publicity stunt to pose with this American Icon. The old doughboy is no fool though. Just like Monica everyone wants to get freaky with people of power and the old Doughboy is no exception! Just look at where the Doughboy's hands are heading! My, those hands just have a mind of their own, don't they Doughboy? Rowwrr! Bad Doughboy Bad! {winky-winky}

You know, I don't have any inside information but I think it would be obvious that the Doughboy would be attracted to the Michelin man as well? Don’t you? They were made for each other, am I right?


Anyway, as we all know, sadly, there was a time in this country that you could not be an openly gay man in public life. So like many other great gay men before him Doughboy had to take on a sham wife to provide cover for his real lifestyle. Do you see that look on his face? See where his hands are? Clearly he does not know what to do with her!

Even though it was a sham marriage I can’t help but wonder if she ever caught any yeast infections from him?