Friday, December 14, 2007

I AM the Alpha Geek!

A company I sub-contract for had a Christmas Banquet last night. This company primarily provides computer support to a state government. In other words, almost everyone there was a computer geek. Furthermore, the male female ratio was insane. Out of roughly 30 people there only four were women and at least two of the women were geeks themselves who brought men with them.

The invitation said to bring a guest so Erika was kind enough to escort me! However, with her insane surgical resident hours she could not get there until late so it turned out she made quite an entrance. Ok, so lesson learned, do NOT bring a beautiful woman to a geek fest! They were all over her like white corpuscles on a bacterium! Like jackals on a dead giraffe! Like flies on a… You know I just can’t think of a pleasant metaphor to describe it but she was in the center of a swirling geek storm!

Poor Erika could barely eat as it was with everyone just gabbing away trying to get her attention so I just sat quietly to her left. The owner of the company hosting the shindig tried to throw a toast but he could not get anyone’s attention at our long table. I mean who cares if he signs our paychecks? Erika was the center of attention!

I am sure that right this instant I am the growing stuff of legends! Right now in computer rooms all across the region people are saying, “You know Rob Johnson? He brought a GIRL to the banquet last night. No man I am serious! Yes she was a REAL live girl, one you don’t have to tie to your ankles to dance with or anything! I swear!”

Ah fame! The interesting part is that Erika had already greatly raised my geek status in the nerd herd with her laser pen gift. (Read about it here) Now she has certainly put me over the top-

I am now the alpha geek!

I hereby vow to wield the ceremonial slide rule of power with wisdom and justice for all.

15 comments:

Crazymamaof6 said...

i do that for my nerd hubby ! it is pretty fab. ok and i am tagging you for the 10 random facts you have yet to confess about you meme today. I'm still working on it but consider yourself tagged. and of course mine is fabulous. so watch for it.

Melissa said...

And now you understand the difference between a geek and a nerd. A nerd wears a pocket protector and a geek gets the girls, or at least that's that Joe tells me...

Nerd herd...heehee!!

Sauntering Soul said...

Awww, you're the Alpha Geek! Congratulations.

I think I'm the Alpha Dork.

Jules said...

Congrats on your new status as Alpha Geek! Did you tell everyone that she bought you an electric blanket?
Jules
House of Jules

Rob said...

CrazyMama - So you like to make all the nerds crazy eh? ;):)

Melissa - OH! So that's what it is huh?

Sauntering - Well I find that hard to believe BUT one thing I learned last night, if your self esteem is flagging, find a nerd herd and instantly - you are a golden goddess! May I recommend finding your Nearest Star Trek convention? :)

Jules - I had every intention of showing off my pen and giving Erika full credit for it but I could not tell them anything - Once Erika entered the room they did not even know I was there anymore!

It's probably a good thing too because if there had been any more excitement in the herd I think CPR may have been needed! :)

Taj said...

How many Alpha Geeks does it take to screw in a light bulb? ;)

Kat said...

Yay. Way to go and congratulations on your new status. The hubby and I are both geeks though he's more so than I.

I would have loved to see everyones chin drop upon Erika's entrance.

Rob said...

Taj - Oh! And Taj opens with the castration move! :) The answer though is ONLY one. It just takes a few hours though!

Kat - Ah ha, you and the hubby both eh? Sadly, you can boost his status by your presence but he can't do much for you in the geek rankings! Sad Huh?

OHmommy said...

LOL... sounds like a scene from a movie. I would be laughing out loud right now.

kay said...

i bow down to the alpha geek...

Rob said...

OhMommy - Not feeling better yet eh? I'm sorry! :(

Kay - Arise loyal one! ;)

Melek said...

i went to QuakeCon in Dallas about 3 years ago, and yeah, i understand what Erika was going thru. There were about 2,000 guys to about 10 girls.

i actually had guys coming up behind me, tapping me on the shoulder, and when i'd turn around, they'd snap a photo and run away. seriously, run away. it was totally bizarre.

Rob said...

Melek - You were at QuakeCon? I had not tagged you in my mind as a gamer. Wow! Anyway, I feel FAR manlier now, I mean I stutter around pretty women but at least I don’t run away! I guess that explains my status! ;)

Tanya said...

So you did not say how Erika reacted to being the center of attention. Did she enjoy being the Queen of the Nerd Herd?

Rob said...

Tanya - On the outside she was gracious, polite and engaging. Tonight I will ask her if she feels like commenting on what she felt.