A company I sub-contract for had a Christmas Banquet last night. This company primarily provides computer support to a state government. In other words, almost everyone there was a computer geek. Furthermore, the male female ratio was insane. Out of roughly 30 people there only four were women and at least two of the women were geeks themselves who brought men with them.
The invitation said to bring a guest so Erika was kind enough to escort me! However, with her insane surgical resident hours she could not get there until late so it turned out she made quite an entrance. Ok, so lesson learned, do NOT bring a beautiful woman to a geek fest! They were all over her like white corpuscles on a bacterium! Like jackals on a dead giraffe! Like flies on a… You know I just can’t think of a pleasant metaphor to describe it but she was in the center of a swirling geek storm!
Poor Erika could barely eat as it was with everyone just gabbing away trying to get her attention so I just sat quietly to her left. The owner of the company hosting the shindig tried to throw a toast but he could not get anyone’s attention at our long table. I mean who cares if he signs our paychecks? Erika was the center of attention!
I am sure that right this instant I am the growing stuff of legends! Right now in computer rooms all across the region people are saying, “You know Rob Johnson? He brought a GIRL to the banquet last night. No man I am serious! Yes she was a REAL live girl, one you don’t have to tie to your ankles to dance with or anything! I swear!”
Ah fame! The interesting part is that Erika had already greatly raised my geek status in the nerd herd with her laser pen gift. (Read about it here) Now she has certainly put me over the top-
I am now the alpha geek!
I hereby vow to wield the ceremonial slide rule of power with wisdom and justice for all.