Wednesday, December 5, 2007

A Massager Story

Ok, Taj made a hilarious post the other day about some very unusual vibrators. That story popped a link in my mind that I had not thought about in years!

I was maybe 9 or 10 years old when I went over to my grandparent’s house with my mother. I really had no idea what the issue was at the time but I could tell by the very weird and excited way my mother was acting though that something was very wrong and that is why I remembered this story and only years later did it all come together in my mind. No one tells this story around the Thanksgiving table though. (I think I will have to correct that though since I am the only one that was there that is still alive)

My grandfather (paw-paw) was a huge and powerful yet very gentle man, a farmer until he retired. He was also very devoutly Catholic although he never let that stop him from flirting with waitresses a third of his age or cussing like a sailor (but only when there were no women about!) but I can see now how na├»ve he was about some things…

So we walked into the kitchen where my Paw-paw was sitting in his favorite chair drinking coffee (always!) and Grandma was puttering around the stove. (always!) When suddenly my mother said “Dad! What are you doing with that thing?”
“Rubbing my neck. My neck has been hurting lately; I think I slept wro-”
“Dad, you, you can’t rub your neck with THAT! Where did you get that thing?”
Clearly a little confused Paw-paw answered, “I got it at the drug store and I know the box says “facial massager” but it seems to work just fine on my neck anyway”
“Dad, that is NOT a facial massager”
“Sure it is, here, I still have the box, see?” I can still see the picture in my minds eye of the pretty model on the box rubbing the product on her cheek with a very happy look on her face. Even back then I was geek enough I was thinking, so, it’s made for the face but it should vibrate a neck just as well, what’s the deal? Why is mom acting so weird about it?

We immediately went up to the drugstore and bought a big vibrator thing that looked like a power sander that went over your hand and took that back to Paw-paw. It was bigger and more powerful so he liked it just fine.

Of course NOW I understand exactly what kind of vibrator it was Paw-paw had been using on his neck. And you know, sure, Mom was a human too but it used to bug me just a little that she *instantly* knew what it was!


Melissa said...

LOL! I remember finding my mom's er, power tools when I was young...I didn't know what it was until I was much older.
Ack! Now I'm going to have to go wash my brain out with soap...ick!!

Tanya said...


I find it funny that she had to buy him a new one. Which leads to the question of, what happened to the old one?

Rob said...

Melissa - I hear ya! Just use the Lifebuoy and NOT the Lava soap! :)

Tanya - Yeah, I think she had to buy a better one to get it away from him! As to what happened to the old one- I was blocking that part! I was BLOCKING that! La la la la! I am not thinking about it, la la la la! :) ;)

kay said...


Anonymous said...


What an odd topic, intresting though.

Beth said...

LOL!!@ I remember that very box!!! I remember going into Gray's Drugstore and wandering up and down the aisles...and seeing this "massager" and wondered who in the heck massaged their cheeks?!!! But she did look like she was enjoying it....

thanks for the giggle!

Rob said...

Kay and Jenny - I'm glad you enjoyed!

Oh Beth - I am so glad I have some corroboration! Who would believe they sold that as a face massager! I can see it now, "Wow, it's been a tough day! My cheekbones sure are tired. You know what would be good right now? A cheek massage! Yah! Oh, that is the stuff!

Jules said...

HA! OMG, so funny. Funnier still that you remember it years later. Good times with the fam!
House of Jules

Taj said...

Not only am I informative, I bring back cherished memories.

And now I've just flashed back on the contents of my Mother's bottom drawer...oh. OH! Ewww.

Sauntering Soul said...

My mom would never know what one of those are. For real.

I once received a "facial massager" from a guy on a second date. He handed it to me in the plastic bag from the drug store. Couldn't he have at least wrapped it? Our first date was not that kind of date, and needless to say, this second date was our last one.

Rob said...

Taj - Informative yes! I am still pondering just how cherished that memory really is though! :)

Sauntering - I can't help but wonder about your date- Was he such geek he actually thought it WAS a facial massager or was he inept enough to think that gift would seal the deal?