Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Clearly my plan was followed correctly because I drug a major chunk of warm air back up north with me! Really, it’s nothing. Oh, it’s spelled R-O-B-E-R-T if you should decide to name your next child after me.

The weather system that brought all this warm air up north made for quite the wild plane ride Monday! It was seriously rough. Like hit your head on the wall rough! Scary rough! Of course, I mean scary for ‘normal’ people, I am far too manly to squeal in fear! That could never happen! :) (well at least not in an airplane, stepping barefoot on one of the cats “dead mouse” toys though is a whole ‘nuther story! )

Ok, as my 5 regular readers will know I have posted before about how frustrated I get with "amateurs" in the airport security system. You know, people who try to carry on shampoo, or don’t take their laptop out of the bag etc. You know, the WHOLE SYSTEM grinds to a halt every time some moron does not follow one of the (stupid and useless) rules we have had for years now.

So the line behind the x-ray machine grinds to a halt. I am standing there in my socks and holding my pants up with one hand because I don’t have a belt and I was thinking, Ok, what moron can’t handle the silly little rules and held us up all this time?

Then there was that sickening realization when they held my bag up and said, "Who's bag is this?" Oh, yeah, uh, that moron would be ME and my extra bottle of water that I stuck in my bag “just for a minute” because my hands were full then forgot all about!

So now I have to be nicer to all the other morons since I am now officially in the “the club”. You know, that plan I had of tattooing identifying marks on the foreheads of people who grind security to a halt is not sounding nearly as good today as it did last week!


Crazymamaof6 said...

i learned last time i flew. and they threw away my hair product. GOL better you than me. I'll be sure to remind Lance your rules for flying and not hold up security as he leaves tonight. lucky dog.

hilarious about your pants falling off! ha ! and scary rough is never fun. even with a seasoned pilot. right?

Kat said...

Yeah airport security -necessary but it sucks balls. But get this. I found this piece today while browsing the news. Now that's what I call airport security:

Mayor uses magazin as ID

Melissa said...

I was wondering how your flight was going as I was shopping in the 100mph wind yesterday. Small children were flying everywhere.

50mph gusts up by us and 3 inches of snow (it just got done sleeting). Is it freaking Spring yet, ya maroon? ;)

Jules said...

YOWCH, that one had to hurt. Did anyone in line turn around and yell, FACE!!!!" to you? When you let them know that it was your bag, did you accidentally use the hand that was holding up your pants? You left a lot of details out of this post, mister.

House of Jules

Sauntering Soul said...

Luckily I've never been "that person" in the airport security line, but I was when I forgot I had my digital camera in my purse when I went in a courthouse. Honestly I don't think I knew at the time that you couldn't take a camera in a courthouse. I have to go to court tomorrow for my stupid car accident trial so I will make sure I remove it from my purse before I go. Thanks for the reminder!

OHmommy said...

Oh, Rob. It is so nice and warm in Ohio. We even took advantage of the 45 degrees outside and took a walk. Thanks!

BTW, coming back to the states, the baby fell asleep in her stroller and they (Mexican officals) just wheeled her through NEVER checking ANYTHING in the stroller. Not that we do anything ilegal... but imagine what you can hide under a sleeping 25 pound baby?

OHmommy said...

BTW... check my blog tomorrow. I have something for you. Mwah!

Rob said...

CrazyMomma- Yep, I don’t care who the pilot is- it’s never a good thing when your head starts bouncing off things in the turbulence! :)

Kat-I’m shocked, common sense was applied?

Melissa- Oh ya, once again your stuff ran downhill right into Springfield! :)

Jules- You left a lot of details out of this post, mister. and that ain’t no accident sista!

Sauntering- No camera’s in the courtroom? I would ask what that was about but after 19 months in state government I don’t even try to understand anymore!

OhMommy- OMG! I think I know what it is! I am setting my alarm for extra early now!! :)

Mags said...


This sounds like something I would do...I'd be standing there annoyed about the bag and then realize it was mine...I'm so bad.

kay said...

i think you have more than 5 regular readers. maybe 6.

i laughed and laughed at the thought of you standing there in your socks and holding your pants. i think the airport just does those things to see how far they can actually go. what's next. underwire bras? that would be attractive!

Dizzy Ms. Lizzy said...

Okay Rob - - yesterday it was nice and warm and balmy (62 degrees!), and then over the course of the day, it got DAMN COLD (8 degrees!)and started sleeting and snowing and all that stuff . . .

This nasty weather came in from the siuthwest.

You came in to Springfield from the southwest.

Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

I think you have some explainin' to do . . . :-)

Robin said...

As the wind bounced my car from one side of the road to the other, all I could think was "I am glad I'm not in a plane during this."

Last time I flew I had to answer the question, "Whose bag is this?" It reminded me of when I took swimming lessons and the instructor held up underwear, "Whose are these?" I never claimed them.

Crazymamaof6 said...

don't say that Kay! i would be feeling really lame waiting, with no shoes, no earring and no BRAS! that would suck! and anything other than underwire is a waste of time. sorry ROB I KNOW HOW YOU LIKE TO HEAR THESE THINGS. ;)

Stephanie said...

Look on the brightside at least it was something you could easily throw away and didn't have to lug back down to check in.

Rob said...

Kay- Yeah it’s interesting how we get dressed to go to the airport just so we can get undressed again!

Ms. Lizzy- you have some explainin' to do - Well, I think it is pretty clear someone was not following my plan. Someone over in Decatur perhaps? Hmmmm? I hope you are happy spoiling it for the rest of us!

Robin- ROFL@ I never claimed them.!

CrazyMomma- Hey, we can talk about women’s underwear all you want– I’m easy going that way! :)

Stephanie- You are so right; it was just the hypocrisy on my part that annoyed me to no end!

Andie said...


Just kidding.

last time I flew, the guy in front of my had stinky feet. I mean nauseatingly stinky feet and took off his shoes to go through security. I nearly passed out.

I always wear flip flops when i'm flying to avoid all of the time it takes,etc. LOL

tammy said...

Oh yeah, I had to join that club last time I flew too, since I forgot I had stuck my phone in my pocket - which I never do! Can't very well roll my eyes at other morons now can I?