Friday, January 18, 2008

Blanket Talk

Ok, I am a little anal. I realize how shocking this news may be to some of you but there it is, we all just have to deal with it through our shock.

One of the things that annoy me is when the blankets don't line up. You know, the sheet is over your head but the blanket is below your shoulders kind of thing? Some hotels make the bed up that way on purpose and it drives me a little nutty.

So I have three layers on my bed. Sheet, electric blanket and bed spread. So how in the heck is it that keeping them even is next to impossible?

I get up in the morning and the sheet is WAY off to one side but the blankets are still in the center. The sheet is up over my head, the middle blanket has slid down to my waist but the bed spread is still at my shoulders? How is it possible for them all to move different directions? I mean since it does make me crazy I make it a point that anytime I move the blankets or get in and out of bed I make SURE I am gripping all three layers so they will move together. So how does a sheet move over a foot to one side but the blankets don't? I mean the blankets are on top of the sheet so how can the bottom layer move but not the top layers? How can the middle move in the opposite direction of the bottom layer? It just does not seem possible!

There is just no way this stuff could happen in the normal course of just sleeping! I swear there must be some kind of maniacal blanket elves that come in during the middle of the night and mess with my blankets just to hack me off! I mean what I have I done to so anger the blanket elves? Better yet how can I appease them? I mean I googgled "angry blanket elves" and I got nothing useful so clearly the angry blanket elves have already gotten to the Googgle staff! They probably tormented them into submission by rearranging their blankets too!

It's the end times people! Prepare!


Crazymamaof6 said...

goggle? what is this goggle you speak of? loving the maniacal blanket elves talk! you appease them by hmmm, GOOGLE chatting online with me! ;)
yes definitely that is it! try it and see if that works! OR skip the sheet. i hate sheets. so i only use a bottom fitted one. yup! NO SHEET! and if you were sleeping in my bed I would totally be the naughty elf stealing the covers. so i avoid that by separate blankets. i also assume the blankets are bigger and heavier than the sheet. so they don't move as much.

Sauntering Soul said...

Okay Rob, just calm down. CALM DOWN! I have no answers for you but I don't want you to be so worked up about this.

It's also a good thing you and I aren't dating/married/sleeping together because my covers are all over the place when I sleep. I kick them off, I roll up in them, etc., and my cat is usually somewhere in the mix. It's not a calm and serene scene in the a.m. is what I'm saying. I would also probably pass out from heat stroke with an electric blanket and a bedspread.

Rob said...

CrazyMomma- What, you did not hear about the goggle search engine? Bausch and Lomb own it! ;) (Thanks for the heads up, I fixed the typo's! It's all the spel chekrs fowlt! :) )

Sauntering- pass out from heat stroke with an electric blanket and a bedspread - Not in Illinois! :) Besides, I saw on the weather channel this morning that SNOW is heading your way! See? End times! Told ya! ;)

Tanya said...

Wow that sounds nice and toasty warm. My husband will sometimes blow dry the sheets to warm them up when it is especially cold. He's smart.

Have you thought of maybe safety pinning them all together? You could get the big ones.

Melissa said...

Ok, I have a theory here, I know, be afraid. It all depends on what you wear to bed. I'm of the flannel jammie pants and a tshirt (I know, sexy, huh?) I find when I'm wearing the flannel jammies the sheet tends to travel with me and the blankets tend to stay in the last place I was in.

When I wear less to bed during the summer I tend to have a lot less problems with the sheet wandering.
Of course when I was young and didn't wear jammies, I had no problem.

And just so you know I'm nuts abot my sheets, too. Joe is not allowed to make the bed because he constantly short sheets the bed and then I have to remake it anyway.

Cripes, I need to get a life...

OHmommy said...

People actually use electric blankets & wake up wrapped in plaid robes?

Say it isn't so.

Oh Rob. Rob. You need no sheets in bed. None.

I sleep half naked surrounded by my plush down comforters with a soft sheet-like duvet cover. Egyptian cotton.

Heaven. It is. I no longer fight with my sheets.

Dizzy Ms. Lizzy said...

Better crank up that electric blanket if you're going to be in Illinois this weekend, Rob - - it's supposed to be -1 Sunday morning!

Beth said...

look, I know we can't really get married, but WE BELONG TOGETHER!!!! ;) I HATE my blankets to be messed up...I cannot get into a messy bed. My husband HOGS the blankets, they are falling off his side of the bed....YUK!! I can't stand it! Is that grounds for divorce? ;)

Kat said...

Oh but what I hate the most is when they tuck the sheets and blanket tightly underneath the mattress. If you get into bed then I feel claustrophobic and if I tear it out it looks messy and I wake up in a mess of sheets and blankets much like you described. Huff

Karen MEG said...

Okay, so now I know I'm not so bad. You take this sheet/blanket obsession thing to a new level... and I LOVE IT! So freakin hilarious!
My problem is keeping the sheet in line with the comforter, and then placing either a bathrobe or babyblanket in the middle (I'll get to this later), just so. Then I have a big tug-o-war with the husband in my sleep to keep my blankets on my side, and if I feel a bit of blanket without the sheet on any part of any toe I wake up. That's just the first couple of hours. Because sometime in the middle of the night, like 3 or 4 AM, my 3 yo daughter climbs into bed with us, and sleeps ON TOP of my blanket, but UNDER the baby blanket or bathrobe. Whichever she fancies that particular night.
It's a wonder I get any sleep anymore. Oh wait a minute, I don't!

Melek said...

oh my gosh, you are JUST. LIKE. ME.
i HATE when the blankets done line up. it's like just the sheet stretches during the night, meanwhile, the comforter slips down 3 feet. how does that happen? i want to throw everything off in the morning and remake the whole thing.

generally, when it's just me, i wake up and all the covers are in exactly the same spot when i wake up. but when JD's here, he thrashes and pulls all over the place, misaligning everything.

i'm so glad it's not just me....

Jules said...

This is like a support group for people who NEED their bedding to be just right. Count me amongst ye, friends. What kind of sheets do you have, Rob; because I might be about to rock your world... I switched to flannel sheets years ago (keep you warm in the winter and cool in the summer, honest!) and they don't give me any hassle at all. I have a big, warm down comforter/duvet thing with a velvet duvet cover and that thing must weigh a zillion pounds together, but the flannel sheet (which by comparison is light) never moves.
House of Jules

Mags said...

Crazy blanket elves like tomatoes. I know, I's weird. But in order to get them to leave your blankets alone, you must leave some sort of tomato product at the foot of your bed, on the floor.

I've found that ketchup is their favorite...a little sweet, a little tang-the perfect combination to appease the crazy blanket elf.


I'm a little worried about how in depth I just went into that. LOL

michelle said...

i agree with melissa ... i wear flannel pajamas and have jersey (t-shirt) sheets ... they are a crazy messin the morning, but my duvet and bedspread are perfect ... it's all about the material interaction!

as for the comment about being short-blanketed at a hotel ... i used to be a chambermaid and i would always make the bed so the blanket was a foot or so shorter than the sheet. why? because as long as i was there, we never washed the blankets ... the sheets were always clean, but the blankets were rarely laundered. i believe i was saving unknowing tourists from the plague. :)

Susie said...

i happen to personally know the elves and I have literally gotten up in the middle of the night only to re-make the bed and go back to sleep.
here's a trick I've learned--I had never thought about flannel jammies though-thanks Melissa!flannel sheets stick to the blankets and comforters--although you have to invest in silk or satin jammies or you'll stick to them too.
also, start tucking in your sheets and blankets TIGHT on the side of the bed.

I think you may be a new hero--there is proof I am not the only weirdo about the covers. I have to let my husband read this he can see that I am not alone.

kay said...

hi my name is kay and i'm addicted to straight sheets.

Crazymamaof6 said...

rob! where are you? no comment back for the last 12 commenters?
it's Tuesday and no new post?
are you still alive? come on we're waiting!
as I tap tap tap tap tap. my foot impatiently!
GOL! get on it MAN!

Angela WD said...

I have the same blanket obsession. The worst thing is when I'm sick and dear husband is tucking me into bed, and he just can't do it right. How can I rest with blankets and sheets all mismatched and at crazy angles and poking me all over?

Flannel's great, but I find that if I'm wearing flannel PJs and sleep in flannel sheets, I stick to the bed. I can't move. That's even worse.

OHmommy said...

I with crazymama... wondering if I was reading my feedburner right.

Where are you? Rob, oh, Rob. We miss you.

Kat said...

Yes, yes, where are you? Hope everything is alright. We miss you around here.

Robin said...

Maybe somebody should check if Rob is tangled up in his sheets...

Rob said...

Sorry everyone for not staying in touch but it has been a very crazy week!

Since I love comments so much I always answer my comments but I just have not had the time this week! :(

I hope you all can forgive me!