Friday, February 5, 2010

That's a whopper!

Yeah, I am a bachelor so sometimes I eat at gas stations! :)

I find that overall Quick Trip has the best cuisine but they don’t have any of those in Springfield so when I am here I am devout Shell man! :) So succulent, so tasty! I mean where else can a guy get his Recommended Daily Allowance of hydrogenated vegetable protein stamped into a convenient burrito shape in less than 2 minutes?

MMmmmm, just thinking about yummy micro waved hydrogenated vegetable protein wrapped in a clammy tortilla shell is making me hungry right now!

Yeah ok, it’s not good food but when you are in a hurry and need some gas it will do. (is that a pun or not? You be the judge!)

But look at this wrapper…what the hell is THIS blatant lie on the wrapper of this fine specimen of gas station food?

(as always you can click the image to enlarge)

Home baked bun? HOME BAKED BUN? In what bizarre parallel universe could this piece of food facsimile possibly be “HOME BAKED”?

What? Do they have some homeless guy sleep in the building that houses the assembly line so that it’s his ‘home’ therefore the assembly line now qualifies as “home baked”.

OH! Now I get it! Do you ever see all those “You can Work from Home!!” signs along the road? Well LandShire actually has thousands of work from home people baking 20 or 30 buns a day per person and shipping them to LandShire for final assembly! Yeah, I get it now.

PS I hope you noticed that a classy, upscale guy like me does not fart around! I did not buy the normal gas station sandwich. Nope, notice I bought the SUPREME charbroiled hydrogenated vegetable protein pattie sandwich.

That just the way I roll.