Thursday, May 1, 2008

Cluelessness II

This story is almost the opposite of my last story.

For the last couple of weeks I have been thinking about maybe buying a boat. There is one boat in particular here in Springfield I have been looking at. I don’t know a lot about boats.

Now there is this guy at the gym and we don’t work out together but in the past the timing has worked out that we are in the (huge) Jacuzzi together after working out a couple times a week. So we have talked about things we have in common, divorce, old muscle cars and other manly men topics- because people, two men sitting in a Jacuzzi together are NOT going to talk ballet or poetry.

Anyway on several occasions he has talked about his boat and the hardware needed to pull it.

So I have been keeping an eye out for him to bend his ear about boat buying. We crossed paths in the locker room; he was walking out to leave as I came in. So I told him I have been looking for him since I wanted to ask questions about boats, he was like sure, next time ‘cause I gotta go right now. No problem.

So a third guy in the locker room I don't even recognize overhears all this and as my friend walks away he says to me, “Hey, I know all about boats, what did you need to know?” So I asked him my first question. It does not take but seconds to realize he has no clue whatsoever about boats. I mean I don’t know much about boats but I know a lot about engines and he is spouting some stuff about engines that were not just wrong but clearly demonstrated a lack of even a basic understanding.

So now I am in polite nodding my head mode, saying “hmm mmmm, uh huh” a lot but this guy just keeps going on and on and maybe 5% of it was correct.

This guy went on like he was Captain Nautica, born with a propeller spinning on his penis. Any second I expected to hear him say “Well hell, I knew Cap’n Crunch when he first joined the navy. Poor guy, he got razzed a lot, no one likes to be called Seaman Crunch- those are just two words that are not used together very often.”

Now, why would someone out of the blue tell another person they knew alllllll about topic X when they really don’t? I mean I can understand it when you are drinking and you can solve all the worlds’ problems after having a few but this guy was sober.

I just don’t get it.


SuperCoolMom said...

As a man, you may not have recognized it before, but most men are Full of Shit!

Crazymamaof6 said...

wow my sister is using cuss words in comments. that is so not like her!

Um. yeah i agree, all men like to blow smoke. to appear like they are smarter and knowledgeable in all things. admit it you've done it too before. usually when trying to impress a woman. but maybe that boat liar is into you. EWWW! and i have to say why can't the guy leave well enough alone, and ignore the conversation you are having with someone else. DORK!

good luck getting some valid info. that may prove to be a challenge.

tammy said...

I have to agree with the above two comments. Exactly what I was thinking!

I don't know much about boats, other than my FIL owns a Sea Ray, and we're going out on it this weekend - whoo-hoo! I also have been around the men in my family to know that you don't want to buy a Bayliner aka Gayliner. But that's just according to them. Your friend may say otherwise. And also (just FYI) it can be really dangerous to have sex on a waverunner. And I am speaking from personal experience.

Sauntering Soul said...

I think supercoolmom pretty much summed it up. I do have to say that, as a female, I don't know crap about ballet, high tea, the latest Justin Timberlake album, Jimmy Choo shoes, or any number of 'girly' things and I would find it to be complete torture having to sit in a jacuzzi with another woman talking about any of those topics too. You're not alone in that regard.

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

SuperCoolMom- Well, I am just glad to know you are not bitter or anything! ;)

CrazyMomma- yeah, blow smoke, I am with yeah, even bullshitting I will go along with but personally this was the biggest disconnect between ego and go I have seen in a while. Once again I think you are right though, he was just hot for me.

Tammy- Et tu Brute? Hmmmm, wave runner huh? (I would like to hear a LOT more about that story but I will pretend to be a gentleman) The boat I am looking at has a double bed in it but I do like a challenge and wave runners are way cheaper! :)

Sauntering- You totally cracked me up! That ought to be a SNL skit!

SuperCoolMom said...

Not bitter. Just realistic. Nature of the beast and all that.

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

Sometime bitterness and realism can be hard to distinguish. :) I speak from experience there!

Tanya said...

Maybe, just maybe, he had a crush and wanted to impress you. It was a locker room after all.