This story is almost the opposite of my last story.
For the last couple of weeks I have been thinking about maybe buying a boat. There is one boat in particular here in Springfield I have been looking at. I don’t know a lot about boats.
Now there is this guy at the gym and we don’t work out together but in the past the timing has worked out that we are in the (huge) Jacuzzi together after working out a couple times a week. So we have talked about things we have in common, divorce, old muscle cars and other manly men topics- because people, two men sitting in a Jacuzzi together are NOT going to talk ballet or poetry.
Anyway on several occasions he has talked about his boat and the hardware needed to pull it.
So I have been keeping an eye out for him to bend his ear about boat buying. We crossed paths in the locker room; he was walking out to leave as I came in. So I told him I have been looking for him since I wanted to ask questions about boats, he was like sure, next time ‘cause I gotta go right now. No problem.
So a third guy in the locker room I don't even recognize overhears all this and as my friend walks away he says to me, “Hey, I know all about boats, what did you need to know?” So I asked him my first question. It does not take but seconds to realize he has no clue whatsoever about boats. I mean I don’t know much about boats but I know a lot about engines and he is spouting some stuff about engines that were not just wrong but clearly demonstrated a lack of even a basic understanding.
So now I am in polite nodding my head mode, saying “hmm mmmm, uh huh” a lot but this guy just keeps going on and on and maybe 5% of it was correct.
This guy went on like he was Captain Nautica, born with a propeller spinning on his penis. Any second I expected to hear him say “Well hell, I knew Cap’n Crunch when he first joined the navy. Poor guy, he got razzed a lot, no one likes to be called Seaman Crunch- those are just two words that are not used together very often.”
Now, why would someone out of the blue tell another person they knew alllllll about topic X when they really don’t? I mean I can understand it when you are drinking and you can solve all the worlds’ problems after having a few but this guy was sober.
I just don’t get it.