Monday, December 14, 2009

Dependency

I suppose with all addictions you never know just how addicted you are until you can no longer get your fix. For example I used to smoke. I always said and completely believed that I could quit smoking anytime I wanted too. I found out the hard way how wrong I was about that (finding out the hard way seems to be a personality trait of mine. :) )

I was 16 still living on the farm in Nebraska and I was only a month away from leaving for basic training when we received word that a significant blizzard was heading our way. So we ran into town and stocked up on groceries and settled in for the fun.

It was a doozy of a blizzard too. We got (as I recall) a couple of feet of snow but the winds were the killer. There was white out conditions for several days as the winds continued to howl long after the snow stopped. The winds were so strong they torn the storm door off the back porch. Of course high winds defeat the road clearing crews as the snow continually drifts back over cleared surfaces. Then of course the gravel rural roads are the lowest priority to clear as they get so little use. So as I recall we were snowed in for about two weeks.

For some odd reason when we stocked up on groceries I forgot to get cigarettes. Even as I was smoking the last of my cigs I was not concerned. I mean I could quit anytime I wanted to right?



Oh boy did I find out how bad I was hooked. At first I did not associate the restlessness and the inability to feel satisfied after eating with not having any smokes. After a period of time though as I started to jones badly there was no doubt in my mind that I WANTED A CIGARETTE DAMNIT!

My Aunts and uncles had lived through the great depression and the rationing of WWII and were tremendous and habitual hoarders. (e.g. when the last of them died and we were cleaning out the house we found over 800 pounds of sugar stashed in one of the bedrooms. They were ready for the next time sugar was rationed for a few years! ) So one of my long deceased Uncles used to smoke and I was sure he would have some smokes stashed somewhere so I started to search and search.

Sure enough I found a carton of non filter Camel’s that were very, very old. The cigarette paper had turned brown and when I started smoking one brown resin started to run from the end of the cig and actually ran down my arm. Oh it tasted horrible to boot!

I did not care; I relished every drag of that smoke as my shattered nerves were soothed and calmed by that hellishly bad cigarette. I never told myself again that I could quit anytime I wanted because I knew better!

I thought of this story because last Saturday night I found out I have another dependency. I went to nuke up lunch in the trusty old microwave and the fan ran, the turntable span and when the timer ran down it beeped as usual but the food was still ice cold. The micro had died. Oh, well, I was already planning a shopping trip Sunday morning so I just mentally tacked microwave on the list.

Saturday night I am standing in front of the fridge deciding on supper when I realized I had almost NOTHING in the house that did not require a microwave! Then I realized how totally addicted I am to the micro! I mean my god; boil a pot of water to make heat Polish sausage instead of just beaming it for 30 seconds? No way!

That was as close as I could get to food that could be cooked “conventionally”. I ended up having cereal and toast for supper. I was jonesing man, totally jonesing!

So just like the amazing discovery when I was 16 that I was completely hooked on nicotine, now I am fully aware that I am totally dependant on having a microwave.

4 comments:

tammy said...

Now you have me wondering if I could get along without my microwave.

I'm pretty sure I'm glad I wasn't living with you when you ran out of smokes.

Anonymous said...

You've got me jonesing for a smoke now!

Maria in Oregon

Crazymamaof6 said...

i could live without the microwave, but it's not great. now living without a computer? ACK! i'd be dying.

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