Doctor Tales II

In 2000 in Frisco Texas (a Northern Suburb of Dallas) I got clobbered by an unlicensed uninsured illegal alien driving a tractor-trailer dump truck full of gravel. He weighed approximately 70,000 pounds at the time.

My vehicle rolled 3 1/2 times. The roof collapsed down and I was pinned to the seat upside down.

I am not claustrophobic but I felt it then, alone, upside down, it's pretty dark in there and  I can't move. Then the imagination takes over. What if hot water comes out of the engine, or fuel? I'll just sit here and burn! Men are not supposed to admit to fear but I am a nerd so I will gladly admit I was scared. (However not panicked or stupid! "Fear is the mind killer"). Within 5 minutes though,  a Fireman's hand comes through the small gap that used to be a window,  grabs my hand and says "You OK? We will have you out of there in a minute. He held my hand and talked to me for the next 20 minutes while a small team jacked and blocked up the truck then cut it open with up BIG manly tools and pulled me out of there!

Oh, if you think there is anything even remotely gay about holding hands with a fireman of the same sex, you have never been pinned in car upside down in the dark! :) So I LOVE firemen!

One fireman took this shot at the scene.


Dragging my ass out of the wreckage.  Firemen RULE!
(Note how they jacked up the rear end so they could pull the roof down to free me!)

I took this shot at the junkyard later...

That roof is awfully close to the seat! {shiver}

That's not the funny part of the story though!

I came out of it completely unscathed but no one would believe me! The firemen wanted to load me into an ambulance and take me to the hospital. I just wanted to get to work. But when the one guy who was talking me through it while the other guys cut me out said, "Please? For me? I would feel so much better if you got checked out." how could I possibly say no?

So on the way to the emergency room they went through this routine where they ran their hands all over my body then moved my extremities through range of motion and kept asking me of if I felt anything any numbness, pain etc. Then shortly after getting to the emergency room. A nurse ran through the identical exercise, then (10-year-old memories get fuzzy) someone else (possibly an intern/resident?) went through the exact same process. I am a nerd, I hate inefficiency. A double-check is good. Three times is waste.

Then about a 1/2 hour went by with nothing going on. Then a middle aged fellow came in, introduced himself as my doctor and proceeded to repeat the same procedure again. AGAIN?

 Feels and moves my left arm "Any pain or numbness?"
"Nope"
Feels and moves my right arm "Any pain or numbness?"
"Nope"
Feels and moves my left leg "Any pain or numbness?"
"Nope",  by now I am getting bored and decide to have a little fun.
Feels and moves my right leg... As he lifted my leg up at about 45 degrees I gasped and put a look of shock and concern on my face!

He goes "What? What is it?"

"Doc, both my legs just went numb when you did that!"

I saw the look of shock/fear/concern come over *his* face!

"KIDDING DOC Kidding!"

So with a big grin and a relieved look he said, "Oh you are gonna be one of those kinds of patients huh?" My only reply was an impish smirk.  "Yeah, well just remember, paybacks are a mother and I have all the sharp instruments!"

I liked him right away!