Monday, July 20, 2009

More Springfield Weirdness

No pictures this time so I will just have to paint the pictures verbally...

Weird #1)
I was sitting at a stop light and a car pulled up next to me, it's hood is about even with my passenger door so I can't see the driver. Rap music was a thumping and bumping very loud. (Please, let us not confuse, urban contemp. or hip-hop with Rap, this was RAP.)

Other than being reminded once again that this is the only form of music that I really do not care for I did not pay much attention one way or the other. Then the light turned green and the booming rap car gradually overtook me. The only occupant of the car was a grey haired old man!
Holy shattered stereotypes Batman!

Then I got this mental image of a guy with a boom box lashed to his walker shuffling down the hall of the "rest" home booming out, "So I busted a cap in my bitches ass..."

Weird, very weird.

Weird #2)
I was eating breakfast at a restaurant, I got up to leave. I am walking down a row a tables towards the door. At the table on the end of the row a woman is seated facing me. She has large boobs AND a very deep V cut shirt. Ladies, I do my best not to ogle and drool but c'mon! :)

So I am walking down the aisle towards her glancing at her occasionally as I get closer. Here are the thoughts that ran though my mind on each glance... (Bear in mind this is why they never made the other side of the movie "What Women Want" we already know what men are thinking all the time and we don't need to be reminded of it. :) )

"Oh my- Look at that! Thank you for sharing ma'am!"
"Might be a little much for a Sunday morning but I am not complaining, very nice."
As I get closer I can see a football shaped dark area right above the cleavage crack...
"What is that? Is that a shadow?"
Getting closer..
"The light is not right for a shadow- Maybe it's an odd sunburn?"
Closer still
"Is it a birth mark?"
Closer yet...
OH DEAR LORD IT'S HAIR! IT'S A PATCH OF LONG BLACK HAIR you can see from across the room! The hairs are actually long enough to be matted up! AIIIIEEEEEE!

Ok, I do NOT get this. If you have the kind of boobs you want to show off. (and you don't wear a blouse like this if you are not trying to show off) then my goodness do something about the fur! A shot of Nair? A razor? Black and Decker hedge clippers? Something! At the very least don't wear a blouse that pulls eyes eyes right to the patch of fur.

Yep, very weird.

With all that said though, now I am jealous, she has better chest hair than I do. :(


Ms Snarky Nice Bitch said...

lol those are funny


Andie said...

I think "she" may have formerly been a "he" to have hair on her chest like that. I have never seen a women with hair growing above her cleavage like that.

Melek said...

it could be one of those birthmarks that are covered in hair. i've seen them before, but not usually on someone's cleveland.

tammy said...

You do see some strange things.

Laughing at the gramps in the car.

And completely grossed out about the hair. Maybe it was her cat?

Callsign Echo said...

Ewww! for cleavage hair! I would say that's what you get for lechery, but no on deserves an eyeful of hairy mole!

mumple said... are flypaper for freaks.